its hard when your mum is a cow. yup thats how she sounds! i know its tough when you need her and she cant just be there, without any baggage/bitterness.
sometimes it is better to leave them behind and hope that one day they will get over it. compleatly diffrent, but my mum wasnt in my life from 16 when she threw me out, for the seccond time, untill ds2 was 18 months (think i was 20?), now i cant get rid of her, and she has caused that many dramas, its not funny! but im learning to ignore the bad and put up with the rest for the kids, they love her to bits, i have given her warning, tho, that i would rather have df and the kids in my life, happy then have her arround causing dramas, once she realized i was seriouse, she has made an effort, and left her dramas away from me, even thou they find there way to me eventualy