Nieces...nephews... Are they yours or your husbands?

[Glamourcide]

I guess it's up to you guys as to whether they're 'his' or 'ours'! My brother doesn't have kids (thank GOD...) and he always referred to his ex in the kids' presence as 'Aunty B', which I didn't at all like and told him to stop. They broke up a while ago and he's learned his lesson - the new girlfriend has been around for a really long time now but he doesn't insist the kids call her 'Aunty S', she's just 'S' to the girls. Until they marry, she's 'temporary' imo (I should add that they're both very immature and I honestly don't see them being together forever... they say they're 'engaged' but pfft, that means nothing without a ring and some plans imo... they'll break up at the first sign of trouble, same as always, just because my brother has the emotional intelligence of a 12-year-old, iwkwim).

When I was a kid, my dad's sister partnered with a man who she later married, but I remember him asking to be referred to just as 'A' instead of 'Uncle A' until their wedding. Maybe he was being respectful of my parents and trying to prevent my brother and I becoming too attached in case something did go wrong with their relationship, but many, many years on he's now 'Uncle A' for sure and I'll never think of him any different, no matter what

[Fleur]

I guess it's up to you guys as to whether they're 'his' or 'ours'!

I agree.. I think it comes down to the dynamic in the individual family. I consider myself aunty to DH's sibling's children, and vice-versa. I also think it is very much affected by the ties you form with those kids, if it's a step-relative you have only met once or twice then of course you will feel differently; I guess if you had much more close contact over the next year or two you would start to feel differently KWIM?

FWIW I had an Aunty who divorced out of our family when I was very young, 5 or 6, and we still are in contact with her & I still consider her my aunty

[Floweryfields]

I would say they are yours too - my mums sister's husband has never been anything other than my uncle in my eyes - even though he is uncle by marriage.


PS Lime, that ticker/ad thing you mentioned in a post earlier is happening at the moment, you might not have seen.

[Glamourcide]

FWIW I had an Aunty who divorced out of our family when I was very young, 5 or 6, and we still are in contact with her & I still consider her my aunty

Same here on my mum's side - mum and her brother haven't spoken since my gran died (there was dispute over some small sentimental items and my dirty uncle stole them, then pawned them), and unfortunately we lost contact with their family for many years until one day mum's SIL called out of the blue saying she and mum's brother were now divorced (long story short, he was messing about with a girl my cousin's age and they now have a baby together, my cousins don't speak to him at all and he's essentially been disowned by the whole mob) and that she was still there if we were interested in trying to put the family back together despite him. We've grown a lot closer again over the past few years and she's still definitely my aunty - as for my uncle, he's pretty much as dead to me as he is to his own kids :/ I think it all depends on the specific relationships as well - very well said, Fleur