Sushee,
I can relate a bit to what you have said, particularly about charlie having a brother or sister his own age. But alot I can't really relate as both DH and I want another child. I did have a thought though - Do I remember correctly that you have one embryo on ice? Perhaps you feel so strongly because you have that potential baby sitting there and you know what you went through to get that potential baby. Perhaps if you went back to do that one FET, you would feel better. Maybe you could talk DH into going back for the FET and then leaving it at that.
I have been saying recently to people that besides having a loved one die, wanting a baby and not being able to have one is the worst thing in the world so I think counselling would be a great idea to help you get through this. :hugs: