Number 2... How'd you know that you were ready?

[mzcatieboo]

DS & DD are 3 yrs apart, i wanted DD even though i wasn't sure how i'd cope.. but we made do.. now i have an unplanned DS2 on the way and DD turns 1 this coming Friday there will be 16 months between her & bubs.. that im not sure i will be able to handle BUT we will make do.. if you REALLY want another baby you will find a way to make it work xx

[thrilled82]

Think I am in a similar boat to Miss E ... thanks for posting this.

We have been overwhelmed with DD. She has been a hard, unsettled and difficult baby from day one and I am not sure it's in me to do it all over again.
People have been telling me not to have a second baby until you are ready and actively "want" another baby, and well, at the moment I can honestly say I don't want another baby. I am exhausted and most days mentally spent just having one to worry about.
I have found every stage challenging and hard, people keep saying it gets easier as they get older - well, I haven't found this to be true. Perhaps this is a reflection on my capabilities as opposed to DD's beahviour/personality. In a way, I feel that by considering an only child family I am being realistic about my limitations and capabilities as a mother. I feel that I can be a good Mum to one, but maybe not such a level-headed or likeable Mum to more then one.

Hmmm ... maybe I've just had another rough day and will feel differently about this tomorrow.
I have days where I think 'Of course we will have another, DD needs a sibling' but then other days I have myself convinced that an only child is the wisest choice for our family. DH supports me either way, he wants this to be my call and has said he would be happy with one or more.

I know I don't have to make up my mind now, I do have a bit of time on my side. However I always thought that if we were going to have two kids, we'd be trying by now - I always envisaged a 2 year age gap. Perhaps this is going to be open conversation for the next few years ... but it certainly feels better to chat to some of you about it.

[Miss E]

Thanks for all your replies ladies, it really helps hearing everyone elses perspectives.

Thrilled try not to stress too much about it, I felt exactly the same when DS was that age, now as he gets older I'm warming more and more to the idea and the more I think about it (which is a lot right now) the better equipped I feel.

MZ - too true, you make it work whatever life throws at you.

Bekz, thanks for sharing, the fear of not being the 'perfect' mum is what scares me most, but you've really helped to put it in perspective.

Life is good and Rumpled elf, that is really interesting about the love of babies wearing off, I've never come across that before, must admit it makes me even keener to start TTC soon. Lg, good luck with your birth!

Thanks for sharing ashie.

Just to update DH and I are thinking we will start TTC in a couple of months when DS turns two. He is developing so fast at the moment and that is giving me more and more confidence that by the time we fall pregnant and have the baby he will be in a great place and it won't be as hard as I fear it will be. Thanks everyone x

[fionas]

It was hard because DD1 was an easy baby but it took me a long time to physically recover from the pregnancy/birth (long story which I won't bore you with). Then when she was a toddler, my goodness she was a terror and I too wondered about how I'd cope. The pregnancy with DD2 was awful because of my physical problems (couldn't walk, housebound for six months basically) and the fact that DD1 who was in full tantrum mode was housebound too. Added to that, we had a lot going on generally - buying/selling a house and 16-year-old DSD going off the rails so I worried myself silly about how I would cope with DD2.

But things change - they really do. We moved house, physically I'm a lot, lot better than first time around and DD1 is a bit older, bit (I emphasise 'bit') more sensible. And despite the fact that DD2 is nowhere near as easy a baby as DD1, it's all worked out brilliantly.

My age kind of helped otherwise I probably would have secondguessed myself for a lot longer, but I knew I didn't have the luxury of time to do that from a fertility perspective.

If it wasn't for the fact that I have physically rotten pregnancies which apart from being a complete pain, make it v difficult to actually practically look after children, then I'd be trying for no.3 right now.