Thanks tashybabe i think the mistake we made was that it wasn't discussed beforehand. It never crossed my mind that we'd need to. But having said that when she told me he was coming around but he would not come in the house she was in a way implying that maybe she understands that there is a boundry there!?

I see the other ways of looking at it and if we were housemates and evenly contributing then we'd have to discuss it and come to some kind of agreement. But when kids are involved their safety is priority surely!? Mum has provided babysitting and helped with the housekeeping and that is greatly appreciated so i do have guilt for even having to have said something to her and therefore probably coming across as unappreciative in her eyes but that's not the case. She has helped in the only way possible to her right now but like i said i hope she's enjoying it at the same time.

No.2 is a tricky one, my DH and i were dating when i was still living at home. After a while he was staying at our house regulary but when that happend we both paid rent and i'd like to think it didn't cause too much of a problem. Like i said it's so weird that the tables have turned in this way. I asked my parents if it was ok. DH and i started dating when i was 19 i think. Before that a bf never stayed at our house.

I tried to talk to her in a way that she wouldn't take it personaly that she'd just see that i'm trying to protect my family. She didn't really take it that way but that's how my mum is.

Thanks so much for your reply.