Dh works every single public holiday. That doesnt really bother me. The girls and I just do our own thing and because he is working means I dont have to worry about the added stuff that is attached to public holidays. Like every big public holiday Dh will start around 10am, maybe even earlier.
I had asked that we spend what little we have of easter sunday as just the 5 of us. He doesnt get long with us and I wanted to make use of that. But instead of *hearing* me, he has gone and invited his family over and because they are all going to work they will be here before 9am.. So that means that we have to rush our whole morning to look like the perfect little family. It means that we have to rush the easter egg hunt, rush breakfast, rush getting ready for the day then play up to the expectations of his mother.
I am soo peeved off today. He organised this with his mother today. He justified it by saying "that there was no expectation of me this easter because they are all coming here, but dont worry they start work at 10am, so it wont take up your whole day." My day?? My day lasts up until 10am, then dh goes to work, our family easter is over then.
He did the same at christmas too. He does this every single week on his days off. We never get any family time, and Im tired of it. just for once I want to enjoy my little family without having to rush the day to suit the needs of everyone else. And Im peeved at him because he just doesnt get it.
I just feel like crying, Im so angry that he doesnt get it.
Am I overreacting? Am I being silly? I know public holidays are about family, extended family and whatnot, but we never get to see him anyway, and on public holidays we see him even less.
I don't think you're overreacting at all honey! I know how precious family time can be, especially when your DH works difficult hours. It sounds like he is trying to please everyone, the problem with that is that you often end up pleasing nobody.
Hugs to you, I hope your family time isn't completely ruined!
No you are not overreacting. I would blow my top. Your DH is not listening to you, and he is placing his priorities over your priorities. And if you ask me, his priorities are a little messed up. Yes, his 'old' family are important, but his 'new family should be number one priority. And that means respecting how you wish to spend family time and negotiating so both of you get what you want at least some of the time.
That's rough hun I wonder if he feels pressure from his family to do this, or whether because he is at work a lot, he doesn't realise how much you just want quality time together. Perhaps talking about how this makes you feel would help, and seeing if he can explain why he did it. There could be an easy way to solve this that you could figure out together - I hope so
I know that his thinking was that if he invited them here whilst he was home then I would be left alone for the rest of the day. Only problem is because everyone is working anyway I am being left alone for the rest of the day. I know that there is no chance of having him change plans with his family, just have to deal with it.
But I am going to talk to him tomorrow. I just cannot do this anymore. I used to look forward to the holidays, but now I could not care less about them. Im to the point that public holidays are just a pain in the backside for me when it comes to getting things done.
And i think the thought of public holidays makes how little time we spend together is more visible.
I can just imagine how hard this must be for you considering how ruined Christmas was because of your mum. So I completely understand why you would want a private holiday this time around and why you are upset that your DH did not listen when you told him. Your head must be against that brickwall again. I hope you can enjoy the morning, just focus all your energy on your girls and let your DH focus on his mother.
I don't think you are over reacting at all! Can he not work just some public holidays and have the rest at home with you?
Totally understand/know how you feel. Can you do just a quick mini hunt in the morning then a bigger one later when the kids can do it at their own pace and you don't have to stress about the time?
ss, unfortuantely dh has to work public holidays. His normal days off are tues and wed so he works through and gets his normal days off. In return he gets some accured days off. This weekend is huge for them, he went to work round 10ish and wont be home til midnight I would dare say. That will be the same for the rest of the long weekend.
The big hunt that we had planned will happen in the morning and it will just be smaller, I will also be changing brekky from having a bit of everything to just hot cross buns or their usual toast. I had already planned of making the day special for them, its the small stuff they get to do with their dad that will suffer.
So dh got home round midnight last night. And I vented about 10seconds after he sat down. (I admit, he asked me how I was and I couldnt be bothered lying to him)
There was a few issues. He did the same at christmas, my birthday was a non event, every week our days off are overtaken by trying to please his parents. I explained that he needs to focus on his family for once, his immediate family not his extended family which his parents are part of.
I also explained to him that all week, every day the girls non stop talk about him, not his parents, no one else. Its all about him, so when he has days off they want to spend it with him not the rest of the world. Easter and other celebrations are the same. They want to share their joy with him, and the girls are not saddened by the idea of having two or more easters and christmas's if that is what it takes to please everyone. I was in tears, i got everything off my chest.
As far as tomorrow is concerned, he said he would cancel them coming over by saying that he had to work early. Downside is that they would have still showed up anyhow, and I would be stuck with them by myself..
Thank you for your words and encouragement. I feel better for getting it off my chest.
DH works public holidays, usually in the field, but on Christmas Day he is on standby (for bushfires).
It's annoying. I know what it's like and I'm sorry.
Am I overreacting?
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I wonder if he feels pressure from his family to do this, or whether because he is at work a lot, he doesn't realise how much you just want quality time together. Perhaps talking about how this makes you feel would help, and seeing if he can explain why he did it. There could be an easy way to solve this that you could figure out together - I hope so 
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