Return to work or not?

[RobynG]

Hi
I am having sleppless nights trying to decide if I should go back to work. I have a 13 week old son breast feeding and another 21 month old son. My old boss approached me last week to work one and a half days a week at a very good rate. I love being at home but if work is only 12-14 hours maybe I should just do it. Mum is willing to have my youngest but I'm not going to stop breastfeeding him. I would have to put my older son in childcare which I am a little worried about.

I am not keen on the work I will be doing which really puts me off the idea but it is good money. We dont really need the money but we are wanting to buy a house and thats impossible on just my husbands wage....Im so confused about what to do. Any advice??

[Buffykaz]

I returned to work when my DS was 9 months old, and I was initially concerned about how he would go at creche. I needn't have worried through - he was fine, adapted really well and it gave him the chance to socialise with other bubs (he has now been going full time for almost two years). I am thinking I will stop working once next bub arrives as the cost of having both in creche will be astronomical and I would rather stay home with them. Hubby and I have discussed keeping DS in care/kindy for one day a week so he can still hang out with the other kids, plus it will give me some time to bond with the new bub one-on-one.
I also have a friend who recently went back to work 3 days a week and is still BF her 6 month-old. He has breastmilk when at home, and bottles when in care and he seems to have adapted well to having both.

[butterfly*kisses]

Hi Robyn,

I suggest writing out all the pros and cons in a 2 lists - and comparing - sometimes seeing it in black and white helps.

I returned to work after all 3 of my bubs - (hubby stayed home) - it was hard, particularly as I stubbornly breastfed well beyond 12 mths.

There is much said about the positives and negatives of Childcare, but you really are only talking about a very small amount of time (relative to the rest of the week) - and it could be really good for your older child. My youngest son spends one day a week with my step-mother - and that's the most rewarding move we ever made for our little one - they have so much fun together!

Personally, I think if the extra money will make such a big difference to your 'house savings' - it is worth considering seriously.

[mbear]

I was in a similar position a little over a year ago - my daughters were a little older than your boys, my youngest was 8 months and i was still breastfeeding. I could pick my own hours, my own days, as long as some of the work was done....like you, we didnt really need the money, DH works two jobs and i love staying at home.... but hey any money is good money.....my mum, my MIL, and my sisters (when they had RDO's) looked after my girls - 4 hours a day for 3 days.....
It worked. Life was busy, running here and there dropping them off, picking them up. I enjoyed the work....but i only lasted 3 months....fell pregnant with #3 and now i will happily stay at home till my youngest turns 5 (around 2012 !!)...
Bottom line is, i think if you didnt take this opportunity, you may lie awake for a long while yet, wondering what you let pass.....try it, so what if it doesnt work, you can proudly say 'nope, that wasnt for me'......you may love the 12 hours you get to yourself.....i dunno, i reckon its worth a try, even if you give it 3 months.....if you hate it, leave. Whats 3 months out of your life really ?????

[Arimeh]

I think you just have to weigh up the pros and cons and see what works out best for you. I went back to work three days a week when DS was 12 weeks old (but it was easier cos I wasn't breastfeeding) and we needed my wage to pay the mortgage repayments. So at that time, he wasn't in day care, but eventually needed to go into day care, just one day a week. With the next one, same situation, I will need to go back to work for those three days, and the new bub will have to go into day care from the age of 12 weeks. Not the perfect situation in anyone's eyes, but you have to do what is best for YOUR family, what helps the dynamics etc. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Buffykaz]

I went back to work full time when DS was 9 months old, and at first I was a little concerned how he would go being in creche full time. I was lucky that he adapted really well and has now been going for the past two years. The extra money has helped us do rennovations on our house that would have taken much longer if we only had one wage. That being said, I am not sure that I will be returning to work FT after Beany is born as the cost of having two kids in FT child care would not be worth it.
If it's any consolation, my friend recently returned to work 6 months after having her 3rd baby who she is still BF. He has a bottle while in care and she BF him the rest of the time. It seems to be working for her.

[mazzie]

I would go for it! It's a great opportunity and if you don't like it you can change your mind. BUT if you don't do it, you will always wonder!!
I would love to get a good paying job two days a week! I don't have anyone to look after my DD though so it would have to be fairly good money to make the childcare worth it.

[Lucy]

Bottom line is, i think if you didnt take this opportunity, you may lie awake for a long while yet, wondering what you let pass.....try it, so what if it doesnt work, you can proudly say 'nope, that wasnt for me'......you may love the 12 hours you get to yourself.....i dunno, i reckon its worth a try, even if you give it 3 months

This is the approach I took when I started work out of the home. Whilst Olivia and Charlie were babies I had worked from home, which I stopped when Lexie was born. Within about 6 months I was missing the $$, and also missing the mental diversion.

But I knew that working from home was no loner an option.

I was really torn as I was still BF'ing Lexie, and was a little concernd about her being "too young" for childcare at 8 months.

Then my DH said "Suck it and see. See if you can get a decent paying part time role, see if you like it, see if you become more comfortable with how Lexie goes. If it doesn't work, at least you know you have tried it."

The first few weeks were chaos. But before I knew it, we all got into a groove. All 3 kdis love going to "school" (childcare) twice a week. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my work, & enjoy having the extra $$. Its a win win, for us.

[RobynG]

Hi everyone,
Thanks for all your really helpful advice. It really helped me decide what to do. After much worry and confusion, Ive decided I am going to return to work and I am feeling pretty good about it. Looking forward to the time out, extra money and hey like you said Lucy, its only a few hours if it doesnt work out, I'm not stuck in it. The contract is only 3 months anyway, so I'll see how I go and how DS # 1 goes in childcare, which by the way I was really impressed with.

This forum stuff is a great way to help you sort your woes hey!?!