SAHM Burnout - how do you refresh yourself?

[AnyDream]

AAAAh Did I mention I'm premenstrual as well??? !

[fionas]

I struggle being at home because the house has no storage so there is stuff everywhere and nowhere to put it. I guess I cope with that by telling myself that it will all be sorted soon when we renovate and by visualising it in my head when it's all done and going through magazines/catalogues to choose what I want.

But I do try to get out of the house as much as possible. I've learnt that there's no point sometimes trying to get the house shipshape before we go out for a walk because the day will just disappear and there will be no walk. So I often leave the house in chaos, get out and when I come back I'm in a much better mood and better able to cope with the idea of housework.

Apart from that, I try to get some 'me' time and sort of give myself mini-treats or things to look forward to. That could be as simple as something today which is to go to the end of my street (2 mins) away to try on a dress that I've seen in the window. All up that will probably take 30 minutes but it's something to look forward to.

[curl]

Marydean, I know exactly how you feel! My DH is in the forces and constantly goes away leaving me with the kids and all the domestic chores. When he comes home I look forward to sharing the housework, cooking, general looking etc after the kids but it never really seems to happen. I just want a break sometimes. I know that my DH works hard while away but he also gets 'downtime' while there and I don't... EVER. Just sometimes its nice to be left alone for a bit, like having a shower, going to the toilet etc. My little vent over.

My time out/sanity breaks tend to come in odd ways. Like hanging the washing out in peace (read: without kids behind me, they're indoors), having eyebrows waxed (I know a little painful but relaxing too as its 'me' time), walking around shops even just window shopping. When DH comes home he also tends to take the girls out for a few hours so I can just relax without them for a while. Sitting in a nice cafe having decent coffee and big chunk of yummy cake is wonderful too while the kids have babycinos and feel grown up. Also, DON'T DO housework for the day, take a break from cooking (order home delivery), when kids in bed have a loooong bath and relax.

[AnyDream]

Thanks ladies, well I told DH I was on STRIKE from my domestic duties which sort of helped, for a little while anyway. Except for the fact that I have to keep being my own SCAB labour () whenever DH is deficient. Ie I have spent the last several days picking up all the unsafe things he's been leaving lying around (ie betadine bottle, knives, glass candle...!!) and forgetting to feed/change/attend to the toddler (). BUT I haven't had to wash dishes or do laundry or anything for a couple of days so I'm starting to feel better. On the other hand, DH has a very chaotic way of doing things so everything still looks worse before it gets better - the place still looks like a bomb has gone off.

Fiona, I know what you mean about being driven crazy by the clutter. We are long overdue for a clutter clean out but I just don't feel equipped to tackle it myself with a toddler hanging from my legs. I definitely feel better when I can get through a little project like tidying a cupboard or weeding a bookshelf. More calm and in control.

Curl, Yes they do work hard but they also get downtime while they are away, and like my DH said, it was three + months of not having to think about what's for dinner or what time the children need to be fed by!!! I love your idea of a looooong bath, we have organised to go down to the coast tmrw and I booked accom with a huge deep bath especially (I'm taking my candle so I can just lie there floating in the semi darkness). I'm pretty sure after that I'll be feeling rejeuved again.

Mel - I am most definitely going to treat myself to a massage with aromatherapy.