Should I be sympathetic?

[Astrid]

Gosh, sounds so much like my DH. No-one is ever as tired/sick/works hard like him He also stays up late on the computer

It is hard when you know they need to go to work and perform well. I tend to let him sleep in now, but I do get him up then make him help out with the kids. So he gets some rest and I get some help.

[Rouge]

Ok... I don't mean this badly but... is his work dangerous?

A good friend of mine has twin girls. She had to do all the nights with them on her own and she made sure that her hubby didn't help her unless it was the weekend. Because he is a sparky. And if he was tired and made an error it could cost him his life. For me I'm lucky in that DH worked with code so yeah it could go wrong a bit, but he was always fixing everyone elses mistakes so it was ok for him to make a few whilst we both tried to keep our heads above water when it comes to sleeping and night patterns. But had DH been in a job that his mistakes could cost him his job, or the mistakes he could make through tiredness could cost him his life then no I wouldn't make him get up to help. BUT if he had some time off up his sleave I would get him to go flexi if he could. Which is another thing we did. If DH helped out he would go in late and either work later (because it was easier to cope with a baby at 7pm than it was at 3 am) and we did it that way. But once again not everyone has that luxury.

It is hard, but in my house I was the primary care giver of our children and he was the primary bread winner, and I could nap if I really wanted to when bubs did. He couldn't nap at his desk But having said that he helped me out a LOT! But if I thought it was affecting his efficiency at work (which it never did) I would have told him to stop.

I guess I can only really comment on my position because I know my hubby and I know his sleep patterns and what we went through. Everyone is different and everyone needs to find the right balance for their family

Ok well I just saw your post... not helping when he is around... not cool. DH would always help when he can and still does. He does bath routine, we took turns in bedtimes and resettling, he would do nappies, get me a glass of water if I was breast feeding and if he came home and I said I didn't feel like cooking he would offer. Just because he can't cope with the nighttime stuff doesn't mean he gets to be a decorative feature to your home rather than a participant. Go the ice.

[LaDeeDa]

I know what you mean Rouge and I am the same - I never "make" him get up - it is something he has been chosing to do because he felt he was able to cope with it - I have done the night shift completely by myself for the last 5 months.
His job is dangerous because he does drive a forklift etc but it is mainly lifting and packing orders.
He makes mistakes because he is always in such a rush to do things that sometimes things get forgotten....bull at a ggate iykwim.

The thing that frustrates me at the moment is he'll stay up until 10.30-12 playing the puter and then whinge about being exhausted. When it is self inflicted I just really struggle to be understanding.

I think if he turned around and said - you know babe I realise you don't get any sleep and you are completely exhausted too but I feel like XYZ... then I would be more sympathetic but he is constantly insinuating that I sit on the couch eating marshamallows all day ....LOL

I think I should go and get back out of bed on the right side

ETA: Just saw the addition to your post...my thoughts exactly....considering putting a big scratch in his DIABLO disc ....LOL

[~clover~]

No, stay on your side, lol. I think a better idea would be to send your DH, my DH on holidays....camping.....with ALL 4 CHILDREN!! No pc, no TV....
Then you & I can sleep & they can see how easy our lives really are!!

[Lulu]

Oh HUGE pffft to him Dee.

I don't give a crap he has to lift timber all day - the man is a GIANT and is practically built for that. He's the sooky la la not you.

Since he is having a day off, helping with blue (although he's a big bubba he doesn't weigh as much as a tree) and faffing about with some washing is STILL an easier day.

What's the problem with helping you??? Geez.

N doesn't even live here and he does all the washing (cos I hate hanging it out in the cold - me sook) and folding, mows the lawns and trims the hedges....

ICE ICE BABY...

[~clover~]

ICE ICE BABY...

[SugarDust]

Gosh, sounds so much like my DH. No-one is ever as tired/sick/works hard like him

My DF is the same! being a SAHM isn't a "REAL" job but he did state 2 weeks ago to his best mate that I work harder than his GF! I nearly fell over!

He thinks that just because he can get everything done as well as look after the kids means I can do it to! In HIS dreams!!

About a year ago I was at an intimo party when I got a call from him fuming because the 2 boys had drawn all over the walls and carpet with texta and blamed me for it... I wasn't there I wasn't looking after them so how is it my fault?