thread: Sleep: Are we doing the right thing?

  1. #1
    shazza Guest

    Sleep: Are we doing the right thing?

    The last month or so our 10 mo boy has started waking around 1am crying and wanting to get out of his cot and in with his dad who sleeps in a single bed in Brady's bedroom. (Dad snores very, very loud) :evil: Previous to this Brady only got into his dad's bed for morning cuddles.

    On the weekend MIL said we should try and make Brady sleep the whole night in his cot. So when Brady woke, DH let him cry...which he did hysterically for an hour before Brady started banging his head on the cot. DH then put him into his bed where Brady sobbed for another 1 & 1/2 hours. The following day Brady was grumpy and a bit spewy, which made me think - maybe he had a sore throat from bellowing or a sore head from banging it. So from now on, when Brady wants to get out of the cot in the middle of the night, DH gets him straight out. This way everyone has a good sleep

    During the day Brady has 2 sleeps of approx 1-2 hours in his cot.

    Has anyboy else experience a problem like this? I don't mind Brady sleeping with his dad it will just mean we will have to push 2 single beds together but are we encouraging Brady to not sleep through or will he eventually sleep though in his cot?

    I also forgot to mention, he is currently teething and getting 3 teeth at once. So far he has 8 teeth.

    Oh, and as for me....I sleep in the queen-size bed with our cat

  2. #2
    Add Rouge on Facebook

    Jun 2003

    This is a tough one Shazza, we have people here who co-sleep and those that don't. And I am sure both will tell you that you need to find a sleeping pattern/routine thats best for you & your lil one as each person has different sleeping needs. Is there another place for Dad to sleep? I think that no matter what you do, just because it doesn't work today doesn't mean it won't work tomorrow. By that I mean what you tried today he might not be ready for but if you try again in a month or even a week he might adjust better too...if that makes sense LOL.

    We never co-slept with Paris (she hated sleeping in our bed LOL) but she would want to get up and have a play, so we just perservered with the her, and settled her, reassured her etc etc for a few nights straight and she was happy with that. Have you tried distraction with toys? Paris had a mobile in her cot that she could turn on and off...that also helped with the midnight playtimes I don't really like letting them cry for long periods (thats just a personal thing) and we found that going back and forth till she felt safe was best for us. It just depends on what your needs are and what your babies needs are. Try different things until you are comfortable. And if you don't mind him sleeping with DH then I wouldn't even worry about any advice LOL because if you don't mind, and DH doesn't mind and bubs doesn't mind then you have answered your own question

    Oops nearly forgot to add, it could just be the teething thing too so it may pass...if thats what you are hoping for!

    Goodluck and let us know how you go!


  3. #3
    HipBubbyMama Guest

    Well I have been a co sleeper since Liam was very little. I did the sleep school/CC thing and HATED it. I dont like or believe in leaving a baby to cry, and I believe they cry for a reason and mothers also biologically have the innate instinct to pick up and comfort a crying baby. Little bubbas feel safe and secure with their mums, and personally I feel all this sleep training stuff is quite stressful and difficult and goes against our innate instincts as mothers. I feel sad that this method is pushed so much as the ONLY way

    Having said that, co sleeping doesnt appeal to everyone, and there are plenty of other options which dont require you to leave a baby to cry. Try taking a look at these sites for gentle setling options

    your bubba is teething which will also make him more unsettled than usual too. Have you tried putting his cot in your room? Perhaps he may feel more secure and sleep better knowing he is close to you. Or DH could set up the cot as a side car next to his single bed (ie place the cot up against the bed with one side down or removed)

    are we encouraging Brady to not sleep through or will he eventually sleep though in his cot?
    In my opinion all bubs are different, just as all adults are different. Very few babies though actually "sleep through"-though those who have been trained not to expect anyone to come in and pick them up will sometimes go back to sleep on thier own.My own personal view is not many adults sleep through, (without waking at least once) so it may be unrealistic to expect it of a little baby.
    My son hasnt been left to cry alone since he was 6 months old and I have also never made an issue of enforcing strict bedtimes and making him go to sleep before he is ready. I know this doesnt appeal to everyone, but my experience has been that going to bed is a positive experience for him rather than a battle. He will now at two years old, either take himself off to bed when ready, or come to me and ask to go "nigh nighs". Theres never a battle over sleep here at all-because I learnt to let go of expecting him to do a certain thing at a certain time, and rather went with the flow and followed his cues.

    I would personally say, listen to your heart-listen to any advise you are given, but disgard if it doesnt feel right. Trust your innate instincts as a mother, and know that these are rarely wrong

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2003

    Wehn joshua was little he was unsettled, We think he was the oppostie to costrophobic or however its spelt, as in his crib he wouldnt sleep just cried and cried, but when we put him into his little moses basket which left him not even a cm at the sides he would sleep for hours, I think he must of felt insecure with the space? if that make sense? ..
    that was when he was just born till about 5 months old, we hd to buy a bigger moses basket when he grew at about 3 mths old, but then when he got big enough he was fine going into his crib as there was hardly any space left, then when moved to a cot he was ok with it,
    he slept with me and his dad a couple of times too,

    he's now in a big bed and has been since 17 mths old and he absolutly loves it, he would think it was highly funny that he could just climb out when he was supposed to go to bed, he got used to it and now apparently takes his dads hand and trundles of to his bed when he wants to go to bed,