Teaching your kids about their body parts

[Phteven]

We have a book called Everyone's Got A Bottom that I would reccommend for any house. The boys enjoy it (although Imran mainly likes spotting the cat on each page lol) and it introduces self-protective strategies and the correct names etc in a really non-threatening way.

Yasin is 3 and he likes this book.

I think that you can use the correct names from birth. If you've been using other names you can just switch over any time.

[{sarah}]

We just used penis always! In the bath, wash your arms, legs, penis etc at first when we were doing it & then no he does it we remind him where to clean. If he was playing with it even as a baby we'd say something about it. Now with Juliette he is getting a bit confused & calling it a bottom, but we tell him no this is her bottom & this is her vagina. He got muddled though & though the bit above it was the vagina & told me the other day "this is my gina mummy" pointing to the bit just above his penis LOL! I think we need a bit more practise on that one

[Nadine216]

I have a slight "problem" with teaching dd the correct names for her genitals. I just feel that she's a little girl and does not yet have a vagina, kwim?? It's so small and inoccent and well, vagina, not even thinking about penis, is such a grown-up word *sigh* I know I have to get over it and teach her because I know how important it is.

[Mother Goose]

This caused a lot of controversy in our house. We've been teaching DD body parts and we have moved on to her "bits" (much to DH's horror!). I feel it is important she know the correct terminology of her anatomy which has DH mortified. He thinks she should call it her "bits". DD has picked it up well though and tries to say it back to me... although it comes out as a cross between bannana and jemima! LOL

[visitor1]

We use gina in this house....Chelsea has no clue though. She showers with DH and we say doodle.

Like Nadine im not ready to call the parts by the right name...i feel she is to young right now to be saying vagina and penis. She says boobies however...but thats cute!

[smiles4u]

OMG ... KIM, I was only telling a friend yesterday that my Mum was very much in teaching us as kids the proper names for body parts as such ... like penis, vagina ...

When I was 4 Mum was pregnant with my sister ... my Nan told my Mum that I said to name the baby Gina ... my Mum corrected my Nan & said no she still can't say vagina properly being 4 but I could say "Gina"

[~clover~]

We use bottom & doodle. It was what I was brought up with & I didn't really think about it til now. Maybe since Jaz & I have had the 6 year old version of the sex talk - don't ask - I should start telling her the right names for things.

[Nadine216]

I also think it's cute when dd says titties. This morning I was laying in bed with her and we were talking and "petting" mommies tummy, she turned away and I shifted position and when she looked back, the only bump were my boob, so she slaps me on the boob and says ... baby!!!

[~clover~]

Titty - my neices face the first time she saw me bfing. It was hilarious. She looked at me funny & I told her baby's having his ky - maori word for food. She screwed up her face & said 'Out the tittee??' She was shocked!!
Sorry - a bit off track.

[Nadine216]

"Out the tittee" ... now that is adorable!!!!!!!!

[Phteven]

I have a slight "problem" with teaching dd the correct names for her genitals. I just feel that she's a little girl and does not yet have a vagina, kwim?? It's so small and inoccent and well, vagina, not even thinking about penis, is such a grown-up word *sigh* I know I have to get over it and teach her because I know how important it is.

that's sweet and I think it's wonderful that you're prepared to use the biological terms to help your daughter protect herself despite the fact that you don't really like them. You're a great mum and so are all the other mums who think about how to arm their children with protective strategies.
The book I mentioned earlier talks about girls having a vagina and a labia.
Another term you could use is front bottom. I think everyone knows what a front bottom is.
For penis I don't like doodle - it means a drawing as well as a penis so the meaning can easily be lost.
IMO private parts is a good phrase as well - it covers the whole area and it's pretty specific. If a child says privates or private parts you know exactly where they're talking about and it's also gender neutral.

[~clover~]

I've had to stop my girls showering together, coz they were showing each other their bits.
I've tried to make it clear to them that their bottom is theirs & only for them. I've told them that they are allowed to touch it, but not to let anyone else see them doing it & that they aren't to show anyone else. Oh & that noone else is to touch it unless I say its OK - she might have to go to the doctor at some stage.
I won't even put cream on DD2 if it is needed - she still waers nappies to bed & had a bit of nappy rash a few days ago. I get her to do it to make it clear to her that it is for her to touch & only her no matter what.
Whith the sowing each other I'm not really sure if I should worry or not? I know it is natural to be curious about these things, but it seems so wrong. Maybe if they were both 3 I wouldn't be as concerned, but with DD1 being 6 I just think it's not right. Is she too old?
What do you guys think about it???

[Nadine216]

Aw, thanks Chloe. I tried getting that book on a book web-site here, but it's not listed. I have found some other interesting books, but would have to go book-hunting .. I feel I need to page throught it before just buying something off the internet.

I like the explanation that everything coverd by your swimming costume is your private parts(child's swimming costume, not that lean, tanned lady's g-string )

I'm teaching dd to say: "If I eat penis, I will get very, very sick" !!!!

[christy]

We use vagina and penis in our house, like Astrid I was concerned but when reading about sexual preditors being put off by the word vagina more than others that is what we use. Matilda calls it her vagina and we have practiced saying "Don't touch my vagina".

I think knowledge is power for her and as she is older she can help protect herself that way. I may be paranoid about it, but I have known too many girls and women who have been affected by abuse. I know one thing thing that I can do is help her protect herself. I can't stop an attack if I'm not there, but I can help her be prepared.

[paradise lost]

Rose that's completely normal and developmentally appropriate for a child before puberty. Don't worry If it were me i'd use distraction or avoidance if you don't like it - don't tell them NOT to do it, just give them a more-fun bath toy, or bath them seperately or whatever. Education is important but so is normal development and a curiousity about genitals is a very normal part of children growing up.

Here's a list of age-appropriate behaviours common ones are cool, uncommon ones may be red flags for abuse:

PRESCHOOL AGE (0 to 5 yrs.)
Common: Sexual language relating to differences in body parts, bathroom talk, pregnancy and birth. Masturbation at home and in public. Showing and looking at private body parts.

Uncommon: Discussion of specific sexual acts or explicit sexual language. Adult-like sexual contact with other children.

SCHOOL-AGE (6-12 years)
This group may include both pre-pubescent children and children who have already entered puberty, when hormonal changes are likely to trigger an increase in sexual awareness and interest.

Pre-pubescent children
Common: Questions about relationships and sexual behavior, menstruation and pregnancy. Experimentation with same-age children, often during games, kissing, touching, exhibitionism and role-playing. Masturbation in private.

Uncommon: Adult-like sexual interactions, discussing specific sexual acts, masturbating in public.

After puberty begins
Common: Increased curiosity about sexual materials and information, questions about relationships and sexual behavior, using sexual words and discussing sexual acts, particularly with peers. Increased experimenting including open-mouthed kissing, body-rubbing, fondling. Masturbating in private.

Uncommon: Regular adult-like sexual behavior, including oral/genital contact and intercourse; masturbating in public.

ADOLESCENCE (13 to 16)
Common: Questions about decision making, social relationships, and sexual customs; masturbation in private; experimenting between adolescents of the same age, including open-mouthed kissing, fondling and body rubbing, oral/genital contact. Voyeuristic behaviors are common in this age group. Intercourse occurs among approximately one third of children in this age group.

Uncommon: Masturbating in public. Sexual interest directed toward much younger children.

Bx