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Thread: Teaching your kids about their body parts

  1. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine216 View Post
    I have a slight "problem" with teaching dd the correct names for her genitals. I just feel that she's a little girl and does not yet have a vagina, kwim?? It's so small and inoccent and well, vagina, not even thinking about penis, is such a grown-up word *sigh* I know I have to get over it and teach her because I know how important it is.
    that's sweet and I think it's wonderful that you're prepared to use the biological terms to help your daughter protect herself despite the fact that you don't really like them. You're a great mum and so are all the other mums who think about how to arm their children with protective strategies.
    The book I mentioned earlier talks about girls having a vagina and a labia.
    Another term you could use is front bottom. I think everyone knows what a front bottom is.
    For penis I don't like doodle - it means a drawing as well as a penis so the meaning can easily be lost.
    IMO private parts is a good phrase as well - it covers the whole area and it's pretty specific. If a child says privates or private parts you know exactly where they're talking about and it's also gender neutral.


  2. #20

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    I've had to stop my girls showering together, coz they were showing each other their bits.
    I've tried to make it clear to them that their bottom is theirs & only for them. I've told them that they are allowed to touch it, but not to let anyone else see them doing it & that they aren't to show anyone else. Oh & that noone else is to touch it unless I say its OK - she might have to go to the doctor at some stage.
    I won't even put cream on DD2 if it is needed - she still waers nappies to bed & had a bit of nappy rash a few days ago. I get her to do it to make it clear to her that it is for her to touch & only her no matter what.
    Whith the sowing each other I'm not really sure if I should worry or not? I know it is natural to be curious about these things, but it seems so wrong. Maybe if they were both 3 I wouldn't be as concerned, but with DD1 being 6 I just think it's not right. Is she too old?
    What do you guys think about it???

  3. #21

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    Aw, thanks Chloe. I tried getting that book on a book web-site here, but it's not listed. I have found some other interesting books, but would have to go book-hunting .. I feel I need to page throught it before just buying something off the internet.

    I like the explanation that everything coverd by your swimming costume is your private parts(child's swimming costume, not that lean, tanned lady's g-string )

    I'm teaching dd to say: "If I eat penis, I will get very, very sick" !!!!

  4. #22

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    We use vagina and penis in our house, like Astrid I was concerned but when reading about sexual preditors being put off by the word vagina more than others that is what we use. Matilda calls it her vagina and we have practiced saying "Don't touch my vagina".

    I think knowledge is power for her and as she is older she can help protect herself that way. I may be paranoid about it, but I have known too many girls and women who have been affected by abuse. I know one thing thing that I can do is help her protect herself. I can't stop an attack if I'm not there, but I can help her be prepared.

  5. #23
    paradise lost Guest

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    Rose that's completely normal and developmentally appropriate for a child before puberty. Don't worry If it were me i'd use distraction or avoidance if you don't like it - don't tell them NOT to do it, just give them a more-fun bath toy, or bath them seperately or whatever. Education is important but so is normal development and a curiousity about genitals is a very normal part of children growing up.

    Here's a list of age-appropriate behaviours common ones are cool, uncommon ones may be red flags for abuse:

    PRESCHOOL AGE (0 to 5 yrs.)
    Common: Sexual language relating to differences in body parts, bathroom talk, pregnancy and birth. Masturbation at home and in public. Showing and looking at private body parts.

    Uncommon: Discussion of specific sexual acts or explicit sexual language. Adult-like sexual contact with other children.

    SCHOOL-AGE (6-12 years)
    This group may include both pre-pubescent children and children who have already entered puberty, when hormonal changes are likely to trigger an increase in sexual awareness and interest.

    Pre-pubescent children
    Common: Questions about relationships and sexual behavior, menstruation and pregnancy. Experimentation with same-age children, often during games, kissing, touching, exhibitionism and role-playing. Masturbation in private.

    Uncommon: Adult-like sexual interactions, discussing specific sexual acts, masturbating in public.

    After puberty begins
    Common: Increased curiosity about sexual materials and information, questions about relationships and sexual behavior, using sexual words and discussing sexual acts, particularly with peers. Increased experimenting including open-mouthed kissing, body-rubbing, fondling. Masturbating in private.

    Uncommon: Regular adult-like sexual behavior, including oral/genital contact and intercourse; masturbating in public.

    ADOLESCENCE (13 to 16)
    Common: Questions about decision making, social relationships, and sexual customs; masturbation in private; experimenting between adolescents of the same age, including open-mouthed kissing, fondling and body rubbing, oral/genital contact. Voyeuristic behaviors are common in this age group. Intercourse occurs among approximately one third of children in this age group.

    Uncommon: Masturbating in public. Sexual interest directed toward much younger children.
    Bx

  6. #24
    morgan78 Guest

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    We have been teaching DS recently what his testes are and in the shower tonight I've turned around to turn the water off and he comes out with "Mummy's got really big testes" pointing at my bum.
    In all serious though we have taught him that his privates are his and noone - including us are allowed to touch him without his ok.

  7. #25

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    Thanks Hoobs.
    Thats a BIG relief. From what I read, both of them are acting age appropriate.
    Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.
    As I said before we kinda had the sex talk, but I actually left the 'sex' out of it. She just wanted to know what it meant. I told one thing is gender & the other is what people in love do to have babies.
    She said straight away that she wants me & DH to 'do' sex, so we can have another baby!!
    So was that the right answer??
    Sorry if I'm taking over the thread, not trying to, just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.
    I said 'in love' instead of married as DH & I weren't married when we had her or DD2.

  8. #26
    paradise lost Guest

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    Yep Rose, sounds a great answer. At her age you just need to answer the question she asked - people can get bogged down with giving details that are WAY over kids heads - that's not innappropriate per se, it's just more likely to confuse than clarify. SHe was just looking to have the meaning of the word clarified. If she asked again and you re-iterated and she was still asking questions you know it's time to give her a bit more detail. There are LOADS of age-appropriate books for kids from toddlers to teens to help parents deal with these topics. You can check out the library (or better, do a search on amazon and then get your library to order the ones you like the look of ) Most of the ones for Jaz's age group focus on how the baby grows in the womb and is born, with only a few pages on the biology of sex. There are also some which have bigger sections on being in love and the whole emotional aspect and studies have shown the earlier you being sex ed in the sense of teaching kids about their bodies, rights, self-respect and respect for others and the ideals and expectations of relationships the less likely they are to get pregnant accidentally as a teen (i'm NOT down on teenage mothers, they sometimes make the best mothers they are, i just want DD, whether she's 16 or 46, to be having kids because she WANTS them) or get into destructive/harmful relationships.

    There is a lot of talk about protecting innocence, but innocence itself can be dangerous in a world where one is interacting with people who are ANYTHING but innocent. I would rather DD knows what rape is and remains innocent of how it feels than knows nothing of it until she falls victim. Being empowered, IMO, is more important.

    Bx

  9. #27

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    Just make sure whatever you tell her its age appropriate. Because it can backfire, self exploration is normal but reenacting adult relations is dangerous, and it can often happen when children are given way more information than is needed. The opposite side of that is instilling fear when not meaning too, sometimes too much detail can frighten children as well. There are some great books and information about. I know our school uses independent counsellors who deal with teaching children about sexual education when we have sex ed classes, which IMO is fantastic. The information is always age appropriate but even the follow on information is age appropriate when a simple answer is not enough. Its a tough subject but we are lucky to have so many resources at hand. Contact relationships australia and they might be able to source some information for you.

  10. #28

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    DD calls her bottom "bum bum" and calls her boobs "tits/tities" thanks to DH. She dosnt say anything about other parts yet as I havnt been sure what to say.

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