Well given that my 6 y.o. can get her brother drinks/food and help put his shoes & socks on or get him dressed I don't see why its a problem. She even will get nappies, and help him to pick up his toys (yes I do teach them independence young). No she has never changed a nappy, or done anything that puts him or her in danger but she still helps out, just like he will help her out when he's old enough too. Its family, its what families should be like. Love one another and care and look after one another. If you don't teach them this when they are young how will they know to do it as an adult.
Although I might add, Paris would love it if I had 10 kids, but that ain't going to happen. I've already told her she can become a surrogate sibling to a dear friend who intends on having 10 kids LOL! So whenever she gets the urge to be part of a bigger family she can go help out there. Paris thinks the duggar family is cool...
I reckon don't bother with the dirty nappies. Really. Nothing will get a teenrager screaming about human rights more than the prospect of poo. Then again they are all different...
DD helps me look after them at dinner time, bath and bedtime. Not each and every night, but when I need a hand. She likes to take one or the other shopping once in a while and swimming as well. Mine are a bit older though. If I get a phone call and they both decide to play up, she knows by frantic hand signals to jump in and distract them for awhile....I've also explained to DD that its not up to her to discipline them, thats my job.
I'd probably just let her know she will be expected to pitch in if/when needed, that it may not be all the time??
I was 17 when my half brother was born and I would often help mum with feeding him or she would feed him and I would cook dinner or other household chores etc. If you think that there could be problems because of your DSD's mum, then get her to do more domestic type things rather than helping with her sister type things at first and let her decide if she wants to help with your DD so there is no pressure on her kwim? However I do think that considering your DH"s work then you need to all agree to how it will all work before he goes.
how about giving her a choice - like would you like to cut up the veges for dinner or play with your little sister while I do it - do the dishes, or give her a bath, hang the washing out, or watch your sister while I do it... does that make sense. But as the others said, before she moves back in, have some ground rules well and truely established. Treat her the same way you would like to be treated, with respect, and remind her of that when it isn't happening... Oh the joys of blended families (a word I personally hate)
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