Skye - what a situation.
I think that hidding the truth from kids at any age can come and bite you in the bum at some point. It happened in our family - Mum was adopted, she knew from as early as she could rememebr, BUT she never told us. for the same reason, her adoptive parents were her parents and she didnt want anything to come in the way of that.
When we found out - long but not very nice story, i couldnt beleiev she would hide something like that.
To me, my nanny and grandad were just that, it didnt matter that they had not given birth to Mum, they were the most important people and my fav grandparents and her being adopted would never have changed that.
Her brother (also adopted) always knew, i dont know how it never came up, but i guess to them it also wasnt important.

i agree with the groud rule too - make them clear and if you are worried at any time, stop contact, they dont have to know where you live just yet.


Maybe you should explain to the girls that he is DH dad biologically, but not like his Dad, cos a dad is someone that does stuff with you and loves you etc etc make there be a difference and dont have an affectionate name for him (prehaphs the girls could call him by his first name or Mr....) Jesse is obviously too young to understand.

Just my opinion. I think that it is great that you have made contact, especially with Anth's siblings, it may be a good thing for him atm too