BIL is now living back with the IL's. I am standing strong on the kids not visiting when BIL is there - under advice from DS's psychologist and just general common sense. The kids are far too young to deal with the unpredictability of the disease. It is hard enough for the adults to deal with how quickly he sways from being fine to being very not fine.
FIL was around the other day and asked me to reconsider my stand on keeping the children away. He said that BIL is going really well and that it isn't fair to write him off. I pointed out that he said the exact same thing a couple of months ago, then BIL attempted suicide in the back yard while we (kids included) were eating Christmas dinner.
I can see a really stupid family falling out happening because this is something I will not back down on. I would not expect anyone to have their small children around someone who is mentally unstable. Thankfully DH is on the same page which makes it easier.
As for the kids, they are pretty disappointed they can't go to the IL's anymore but I was pretty straight up and told them that Uncle has a tumour sickness growing on his brain and it makes him act in unsuitable ways sometimes. They seemed to accept that.
That's pretty rough to put it on you like that. You have to protect the kids 100% and possibly putting them in the situation of witnessing a suicide attempt is not in their best interest, so why can't the IL's see that? The IL's can always come and visit you, or meet up somewhere else if they want to see the kids.
Re: Terminal illness in extended family
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