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Thread: Are these good reasons for wanting #4???

  1. #1

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    Default Are these good reasons for wanting #4???

    I'm really just wondering if anyone else has felt the same and if my feelings may be rational or just fuelled by a sense of loss?



    A little background.... we had our first two children rather close together and I felt the need for a third so I talked DH around to #3. Now that #3 has arrived I STILL feel like I'm not 'done'. It's confusing me because:

    1. I've never had this feeling so soon after having a baby, I began thinking like this maybe 3 weeks after he was born?

    2. I'm not sure if it's all coming from a sense of sadness that I will never be pg again, never give birth again and just never have another baby.

    3. I'd really like to try and give DD a sister, I really think it's such an important relationship to have.

    4. I'm not sure if it's just because he's been a good baby so far, no dramas and very easy-going. I wonder if he was more difficult would I feel differently?

    DH is not keen at all on #4 either......

    Any experiences/thoughts??

  2. #2

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    ETA - I really cannot believe I am even considering another baby just yet!! lol Tell me I'm not weird??!

  3. #3

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    I think the best reason to have a baby is 'cos you want one.......

    Nah you're not mad, but DH might come around a bit later, good luck!

  4. #4

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    Hi Bec, no, I don't think you're weird at all - I've often entertained those thoughts after having my older children too when they were only little babies - when my first was 6mths old I was clucky as all heck, but we decided to hold off till he was a bit older before trying. I was 9wks pg by his first birthday. Even as soon as our 3rd was born, I was still in the labour ward and we said that we weren't done yet - but it was also a combination of having a less-than-perfect birth so we didn't want to "end" it like that kwim? But in the years between having her and having our last baby, we ummed and ahhed about it and I did go through a stage where I thought I was complete with 3, but if I really thought about it I could never quite shake the desire to have another baby. Plus it didn't help that DH and I would want one when the other didn't LOL, so that never helped. But we finally decided that we would do it and we both wanted it at the same time, so I didn't have to convince him.

    It was the best thing I ever did because now I know I am complete with 4 children (so much so that DH has had a vasectomy) and I don't have a single regret. I did have a lot of confused and mixed emotions in the lead up to his op as I knew it was final and there was no going back after it was done, so I shed a few tears about it - even though I know I didn't want any more children, so you do have your mind mess you around a bit.

    The only thing is, do you think you could still be happy if #4 was another boy? I know what you mean about sisterly relationships, but its not something that we can control, we can give it a good try though. I know a family who have 6 girls - they only had the last 4 because they wanted a boy and in the end her DH went and had a vasectomy because she wanted to keep trying for a boy and he said it would be madness to keep having more children. So you may have to deal with that too kwim?

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