My mum is awesome - she brought me up by herself after my dad left when I was 2 and she had to go back to work as a teacher full time and study her degree to progress in the school after hours. I honestly don't know how she did it!
She was always there to answer my questions and always matter of fact. She wasn't overly affectionate but i always knew she loved me and i always knew she was there for me. She set boundaries which I thought were unfair but looking back she was more lenient than I probably would have been!!
I think the best thing is that she let me make mistakes and learn from things and enabled me to be an independent, responsible and contributing member of society as an adult by teaching me the life skills that I needed. I now see her being a fabulous grandmother to my girls and they adore her.
Update: Thank you so much for all your responses.
The strongest message I've taken away from all this was about being present, that's the biggest thing I can change.
So I've put the ipod down while dd is home and I don't pick it up again until they are both in bed.
It's funny, I didn't say anything about it, but I can see a shift in dd already. She speaks to me differently, is more affectionate and more loving, and the conversations have changed too. It's like there has been an energy shift.
It's such a small thing (or I thought it was) but it seems to have made such a difference.
Right now ds is at kinder and dd is at school so bb isn't taking me away from them. On the other hand, I am supposed to be writing an essay for uni...
Yes being present is the number one I think. It makes it hard to achieve anything when the kids are around, but I figure they're only little for such a short time. I really try to keep the days simple. Meals, park, friends, home time. I'm very crafty but don't do a lot of craft because I find it frustrating with kids around, so we do other types of play.
It's so tough to be your own person and still feel you can give all to your kids. Its a blancing act!
It's interesting you've noticed a change from putting down the distractions. I have recently discoverd a blog from an American woman (don't know if i can the website say here) who had an epiphany about how dangerous particularly 'electrical' distractions can be (she ran a red light as she was texting with her kids in the back of the car and nearly killed her whole family). The articles she rights about are basically all about being in the present with your kids and your life and have really changed the way i behave, and in turn my kids.
From my experience, just knowing i can call my mum and talk makes her amazing. Even when i was younger and didn't always keep in touch that much, i just knew she was available for me. And even if she disagrees with my way of parenting, she'll bite her tongue and hold back as she respects it's my journey.
and because of her I now have my own family!
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but looking back she was more lenient than I probably would have been!!
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