My DH works in the bush. He's only 250ish kms away but we don't have a routine for him to be home except for about 5 days of leave every 6 weeks. He comes home randomly between times. Well not randomly but he's a policeman in a bush community. He comes to town if he has a prisoner or if he has court or needs something from town - like food lol.

This isn't the first time we've lived like this so we (well the kids and I) are quite used to it. We have a very successful routine between the three of us, and a good little village around us for support. TBH when he is home for long (like he's just been here for 10 days) he gets in the way. That sounds awful, and I'm sure he means well, but things are much harder with the kids when he is here. He is so used to not having kids around anymore, and is (by choice) a very unengaged parent. The kids don't respond well to his style of parenting, and as a result he gets cranky and ramps it up and well it's a pretty yuck cycle.

I do also find that when he is home, he treats it like a holiday, and expects to 'do' stuff and be entertained, but for us it's just a regular old week. That is hard for me to deal with. We enjoy our activities (gym, school, play group, swimming, play dates etc) and I find myself quite resentful when he wants to do stuff all the time and we miss our stuff.....yes I know...something we need serious work on.....


However, if you and DH are on the same page, you'll be fine. Before he left I explained to DH that he would have to fit along with us, rather than the other way around as it wasn't fair on the kids to be disrupted because he was too lazy.