This time Im doing it. Really.

[Beautiful Disaster]

Glad to hear your out and safe xxx

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

glad to hear you're safe hun Will be keeping you and your bubbas in my thoughts and prayers

[briggsy's girl]

Centrelink can't really wait - call tomorrow and ask to go through the details to claim parenting payment - it won't necessarily be backdated to the date you seperated (ftb will, but parenting payment won't), so do it asap

glad you are out and safe

[Calluna]

I had time for both. So its all done. Started the claim for crisis payment too.

Thanks girls. I couldnt have done it without your support

[beansbeans!]

Good news on all fronts

How are you? How are the kiddies? (Well big boy considering I'm sure little miss is unaware )

[JLeigh29]

Great to hear you are safe and well. Look after yourself and your beautiful children too. Thinking of you x

[Calluna]

Good news on all fronts

How are you? How are the kiddies? (Well big boy considering I'm sure little miss is unaware )

Im feeling really good right now. I suspect I will be up and down a little bit but so far so good. Im in "get stuff done" mode atm so that helps.
DS is ok. He doesnt really get it yet I dont think. Might take a while for him to understand.
He was pretty bored this arvo so will have to try and find a way to entertain him better tomorrow.
Dd was really unsettled today. Maybe just coincidence. Maybe picking up on my anxiety. But she wouldnt let me put her down for a second. Everytime she fell asleep she would be fine until I put her down and would wake 30 seconds later. Shes alright at night though. Go figure had to leave her cry a few times just so I could get things packed and cleaned before I left him.

[Calluna]

Not dead.
Just out rural.
Internet connection attrocious.
Phone reception worse.
So frustrating.
Driving me crazy!

At a refuge. Its beautiful. Lots of support and wonderful ladies to share it with.

They called police on me who then just about abused me for having bad reception and refusing to disclose my location. Got called a liar because I wanted to go to the office and call her back because of terrible reception and back up from my case worker who thankfully was still here. So I had to drag my kids out in the freezing cold wind at 8pm to go to the office to speak to her on the phone for half an hour about the situation and for her to tell me "it has been a huge wake up call and I should give him another chance" and "think of the children, they deserve to grow up in a family" never mind its a toxic environment and actually a lot worse for them than growing up with a happy mum. But anyway. What would I know. Im just living it.
She then proceeded to give me advice on finances and various other areas she was completely unqualified to address before letting me walk back across the playground in the pitch black freezing cold windy field and get my children to sleep just before 10.

I understand the need for welfare checks but fgs it could have waited until morning. Especially since she could hear them in the background.
Seems kind of ironic to put us in that position and risk them getting injured (kangaroos, snakes, etc in the dark) and sick to do a WELFARE check. Guess I should be grateful she "allowed" us to avoid having to drive to the police station more than 40mins drive from here to sight them.
Grr.

[xXHopeXx]

Wow.. did I read that right? your social worker told you off for wanting to call her back on a better line? Didn't they organise for you to go there? Then said to give xh another chance!? What would she know! I thought she was there to support YOUR decisions??
Poor thing youre doing.so incredibly well calluna. So very proud. This isnt easy but youre doing so well!! X

[beansbeans!]

Im so happy to hear you are sticking to your decision.

But woah! thats a messed up night!

Ignore ex and his messages, you are right they won't stay nice for long, they will turn nasty, its only a matter of time. You are doing what is right for you, for your children and for your happiness.

[myturn]

I'm proud of you. Sorry the police officer was so awful. Look after yourself and try not to engage with any of exs texts.

[Calluna]

We were sitting outside eating lunch on the deck, yesterday when a large black and white butterfly appeared. It hung around for 10 or 15 minutes; circling around our heads, landing on the trees and the railing beside me, disappearing behind the house before coming back and doing it again.
After a while, I put my hand out and almost immediately the butterfly came down and landed on it. It stayed there for about 1 minute, preening itself, before taking off again, circling our heads and then it was gone.

The whole time I had this lovely sense of calm. Even more amazing is Isaac, the boy who never sits still or quietly, particularly when asked, sat perfectly still and silent so as not to scare it away.

It will sound silly to some but since having the miscarriage I have always been drawn to butterflies. I see them everywhere and they always bring this sense of calm, but this was different. This time I immediately felt that it was my angel baby and "she" was sent to tell me I am doing the right thing.

Now I sit in bed, looking out the window, watching the kangaroos scratching, resting and grazing in the paddock, listening to cows mooing. Magpies and kookaburras singing and watching the sun rise over the tree tops
Holding one babe to my chest and listening to the other breathing deeply while he sleeps, I am content.
I am happy.
And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I am feeling anything but alone.

[danita]

That sounds beautiful. Nature can be so healing to our souls. Im soo glad your feeling happy and not alone. Your being so strong! Your little boy sounds as if he is adjusting well too. Hugs

[Calluna]

Hope - social workers have been great. It was the stupid policewoman who wouldnt let me get off the the phone to go to the office and call her back and told me I should give him another chance.

[danita]

You know what the best option is. And that police woman sounds less then qualified to being saying things like that. I'm soo glad the hope staff have been so supportive. And also know what the best thing is to do. Keep your head held high. You ARE doing what's best for you all.

[toomanyshoes]

Hope - social workers have been great. It was the stupid policewoman who wouldnt let me get off the the phone to go to the office and call her back and told me I should give him another chance.

Later on when things have settled I would seriously consider making a complaint to the police, yes she has to do her job and make sure you and the kids are safe but that's were her job stops the whole "you should give him another chance" is disgusting, totally unprofessional and frankly none of her business.

[Saffy]

I'm shocked by that, what does she know about the situation? Very weird, considering how many domestic situations they would attend.
Glad to hear you are doing well :-)

[~*familyof3*~]

Its funny, When my boys and I moved into a refuge I too were draw too butterfly's. Just everything about them screams new beginnings. Im so happy to hear your now at peace and happy no less.

I have to agree I too would look into a complaint about that officer, its not her job to say such things to you.