This time Im doing it. Really.

2cm - it wasnt red tape. It meant it was unsafe. My mum could have passed the location on to my ex. Lucky I had changed my address to my mums house instead of his. Otherwise it would have gone straight to him!
I understand why I had to leave. It was for mine and everyone elses safety. Its just ****. And im so angry at centrwlink foe letting it happen. I understand human errors happen (a lot with them actually) but youd think they would be more careful when I have dv all over my file.

Thanks for the replies ladies.
I cant contact anyone until monday. Im still waiting for some organisations to reopen after christmas.
Almost took myself off to the after hours gp today. Not good. Will organise a proper gp appointment on mon.

:hug: hang in there, it might not feel it now, but you are doing such a wonderful job in such awful circumstances. And you always have us to listen when you need an ear, I know its not the same, but it is something to hold onto when times get hard :hug: Keep your chin up, you're doing well.

thinking of you hon.

just seeing how you're doing hun xx

Hoping today has been a good start to the week for you :hug:

Mm im alive. Today was a little better.
I was supposed to get a phonecall from the counsellor at the old refuge. She didnt call. Im feeling very alone and abandoned. That is 3 people in one week from the same organisation who have promised to call and havent. It has just solidified in my mind that I cant trust anyone to be there when I need them. So stupid. I actually thought they gave a ****.

No advice but I'm sending hugs. You are in my thoughts xo

Thinking of you hun, I'm sorry you're been left feeling so alone and unsupported xx

:hug: Give it another try tomorrow. They may've had something urgent come up x

If you want someone to talk to, PM me here and I can PM you my mobile number and email address.. I will always happily answer emails and phone calls (though lemme know it's you that calls first) xxx

We're here. I'm here. You know I'm always up at stupid hours boobin' the little guy. I might not have anything intelligent to say but I promise to be supportive, and witty of course :)

I'm sorry it's been crap for you lately. I wish I lived closer so I could keep you company.

Thanks girls.
I spoke to one of the ladies from R1 (refuge number 1 lol) today. She said that my case worker has had the last couple of days off and the counsellor was away yesterday. So feeling ok now. I was trying to tell myself they were just busy but my irational brain wouldnt let me believe it. I asked about how the phone system works (I ring and they get an email to call me) so I'm ok with that now and sussed out the email situation. So now that I know what im doing I'm ok. Its the unknown that sets off my anxiety. I was scared to call because I didnt know what to expect.

Was she any help?

Glad they've put your mind at ease. Even if only a little bit.

Are things improving where you are at all?

A little. Last couple of days have been better. I think im getting use to the state of the place and the staff. Still feeling constantly anxious and nauseas. Managed a shower this morning.

I have an appointment with a solicitor this morning. Very nervous but Im sure it will go fine.

She was checking that the new refuge are doing everything they should be - housing dept forms, legal aid stuff etc. Shes so lovely. I really miss seeing them. Its nice to still be able to talk to them but its just not the same as being with them.

It doesnt help that DD has been teething. I think it may have popped through overnight though as she is much happier this morning and I can feel something scratching my boob while feeding. :)

Good luck this morning with the solicitor. If you get a chance, let us know how you go :hug:

I can't believe your dd is teething already - time is flying past so quickly! It only feels like a few weeks since she was born! How's your ds going?

It was just a few weeks lol shes 13weeks now. Way too little to be teething :(

Hes ok. Hes still asking to go "home" and if xx (friends or staff from R1) is coming here too. He has regressed a lot in toilet training. Having lots of accidents during the day and last night was the first night in a week he hasnt wet the bed. Behaviour.. is getting better. Lol he is being very difficult and defiant. At least im managing to stay calmish now.

Really proud of you

Thanks hun. Meeting with the solicitor went well. I wont say more in case theres spies :ninja: haha but she was very helpful. :)

Good news about the solicitor. You're being so strong.

saw the GP today and asked for some anti depressant/ anti anxiety meds. She said I didn't seem depressed. Maybe my thoughts of self harm weren't enough of an indicator for her. Ha! They sure were for me. I scared myself. :/

Did she ask you any questions? Or was she's basing this purely on how you look at the time? Either way, any chance of finding a different GP?

:hug:

She did ask me questions and said from what I described I sounded depressed but I didnt "look" depressed.
Theres a few in the clinic so I will see how she is at the meds review

How is depressed person supposed to look??

Hope they give you some relief Hun x

silly gp. as anyone who's had depression knows, you become adept at changing your facades! hope you get what you need hun xx

Sending you lots of strength and :hug:

Didn't know you had to "look" depressed to be depressed... That's a ridiculous thing to say! Can u get a second opinion from another dr?

My thoughts exactly.

She did give me a prescription. Just seemed a bit reluctant.

How are you hun? Hope you're travelling ok.

That gp sounds like a shocker. Hope you can get a 2nd opinion.

Im ok. Forgot to take my tablet this morning. Its only the second day. Lol
Learning to ignore the marks on the walls. Getting to know the area. Still not really happy but not crying all the time. My case worker from R1 said she'd call tomorrow.
Took the kids to the pool today and have been stuck in traffic for 2 hours with 5 kids trying to get home. Omg. Nightmare.

Had a horrible day yesterday. Stuck in traffic in a van with 2 babies, a 1yo, 3yo and 4yo for 3 hours! DS wet his pants. Twice. My baby screamed for all but 40 mins. The other baby had a poosplosion. The 3 and 4 yo were yelling squealing and whinging. The 1yo was perfectly behaved. It should have been a 20min drive! It was seriously traumatic.
So when I finally got home I decided I didnt have the energy for the neighbors kids and shut the front door and blind so they (mainly the 6yo) couldnt harrass us. So what does she do? Comes around opens the gate to my back yard and tries to come in the back door! Seriously over it. She is teaching DS naughty behaviours and words, never listens to anyone and thier mother works all day so I can't even ask her to keep her in line.
She is in vacation care most of the day but gets picked up and brought home at 4. And hangs around wanting to come in and play but hangs around annoying me doing things like climbing on tables, and fighting with DS while I'm trying to cook dinner and get the kids ready for bed. She wont leave when asked and if I just domt let her in she stands at the door nagging and wanting me to come to the door every 2 mins so she can ask me questions or sing me a song or show me a trick.
She can be a sweet kid but shes exhausting and at dinner time I just do not have time for it.
Ended up giving DS a sandwhich and putting him to bed. Then he woke at 3:45am and refused to go back to sleep since. SO tired and grumpy. Blah.

It's such a great example to set for your kids to show them that you are worth more than being treated so poorly.