Im out and safe. Now waiting to find out what to do next. guess I should call centrelink but dont want to miss dv connect.
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Im out and safe. Now waiting to find out what to do next. guess I should call centrelink but dont want to miss dv connect.
Big hugs Calluna xo
Good on you for following through with this, you deserve the world and all the good things in it my friend. :)
Leave centrelink for tomorrow, the dv connect call is much more important right now x :)
(and Im really sorry about the lack of positive support from your mum, but you are way stronger than you realise, and we are all behind you)
Yes leave CL until tomorrow, you have a lot to process right now :hug:
Amazing work Calluna!! I really hope things dont get too hard.. thinking of you and really praying for everything to turn out well xo
Well done Calluna!! Glad you are safe. It akes alot of strength to do what you have it realy does so be proud :)
Well done :) Centrelink can wait. Now keep moving forward. It'll feel pretty surreal, but I'm sure reality will hit when DP gets home xx
Glad to hear your out and safe xxx
glad to hear you're safe hun :hug: Will be keeping you and your bubbas in my thoughts and prayers :hug:
Centrelink can't really wait - call tomorrow and ask to go through the details to claim parenting payment - it won't necessarily be backdated to the date you seperated (ftb will, but parenting payment won't), so do it asap
glad you are out and safe
I had time for both. So its all done. Started the claim for crisis payment too.
Thanks girls. I couldnt have done it without your support
Good news on all fronts :)
How are you? How are the kiddies? (Well big boy considering I'm sure little miss is unaware ;) )
Great to hear you are safe and well. Look after yourself and your beautiful children too. Thinking of you x
Im feeling really good right now. I suspect I will be up and down a little bit but so far so good. Im in "get stuff done" mode atm so that helps.:
DS is ok. He doesnt really get it yet I dont think. Might take a while for him to understand.
He was pretty bored this arvo so will have to try and find a way to entertain him better tomorrow.
Dd was really unsettled today. Maybe just coincidence. Maybe picking up on my anxiety. But she wouldnt let me put her down for a second. Everytime she fell asleep she would be fine until I put her down and would wake 30 seconds later. Shes alright at night though. Go figure :dunno: had to leave her cry a few times just so I could get things packed and cleaned before I left him.
Not dead.
Just out rural.
Internet connection attrocious.
Phone reception worse.
So frustrating.
Driving me crazy!
At a refuge. Its beautiful. Lots of support and wonderful ladies to share it with.
They called police on me who then just about abused me for having bad reception and refusing to disclose my location. Got called a liar because I wanted to go to the office and call her back because of terrible reception and back up from my case worker who thankfully was still here. So I had to drag my kids out in the freezing cold wind at 8pm to go to the office to speak to her on the phone for half an hour about the situation and for her to tell me "it has been a huge wake up call and I should give him another chance" and "think of the children, they deserve to grow up in a family" never mind its a toxic environment and actually a lot worse for them than growing up with a happy mum. But anyway. What would I know. Im just living it.
She then proceeded to give me advice on finances and various other areas she was completely unqualified to address before letting me walk back across the playground in the pitch black freezing cold windy field and get my children to sleep just before 10.
I understand the need for welfare checks but fgs it could have waited until morning. Especially since she could hear them in the background.
Seems kind of ironic to put us in that position and risk them getting injured (kangaroos, snakes, etc in the dark) and sick to do a WELFARE check. Guess I should be grateful she "allowed" us to avoid having to drive to the police station more than 40mins drive from here to sight them.
Grr.
Wow.. did I read that right? your social worker told you off for wanting to call her back on a better line? Didn't they organise for you to go there? Then said to give xh another chance!? What would she know! I thought she was there to support YOUR decisions??
Poor thing :( youre doing.so incredibly well calluna. So very proud. This isnt easy but youre doing so well!! X
Im so happy to hear you are sticking to your decision.
But woah! thats a messed up night!
Ignore ex and his messages, you are right they won't stay nice for long, they will turn nasty, its only a matter of time. You are doing what is right for you, for your children and for your happiness.
I'm proud of you. Sorry the police officer was so awful. Look after yourself and try not to engage with any of exs texts.
We were sitting outside eating lunch on the deck, yesterday when a large black and white butterfly appeared. It hung around for 10 or 15 minutes; circling around our heads, landing on the trees and the railing beside me, disappearing behind the house before coming back and doing it again.
After a while, I put my hand out and almost immediately the butterfly came down and landed on it. It stayed there for about 1 minute, preening itself, before taking off again, circling our heads and then it was gone.
The whole time I had this lovely sense of calm. Even more amazing is Isaac, the boy who never sits still or quietly, particularly when asked, sat perfectly still and silent so as not to scare it away.
It will sound silly to some but since having the miscarriage I have always been drawn to butterflies. I see them everywhere and they always bring this sense of calm, but this was different. This time I immediately felt that it was my angel baby and "she" was sent to tell me I am doing the right thing.
Now I sit in bed, looking out the window, watching the kangaroos scratching, resting and grazing in the paddock, listening to cows mooing. Magpies and kookaburras singing and watching the sun rise over the tree tops
Holding one babe to my chest and listening to the other breathing deeply while he sleeps, I am content.
I am happy.
And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I am feeling anything but alone.
That sounds beautiful. Nature can be so healing to our souls. Im soo glad your feeling happy and not alone. Your being so strong! Your little boy sounds as if he is adjusting well too. Hugs
Hope - social workers have been great. It was the stupid policewoman who wouldnt let me get off the the phone to go to the office and call her back and told me I should give him another chance.
You know what the best option is. And that police woman sounds less then qualified to being saying things like that. I'm soo glad the hope staff have been so supportive. And also know what the best thing is to do. Keep your head held high. You ARE doing what's best for you all.
Later on when things have settled I would seriously consider making a complaint to the police, yes she has to do her job and make sure you and the kids are safe but that's were her job stops the whole "you should give him another chance" is disgusting, totally unprofessional and frankly none of her business.:
I'm shocked by that, what does she know about the situation? Very weird, considering how many domestic situations they would attend.
Glad to hear you are doing well :-)
Its funny, When my boys and I moved into a refuge I too were draw too butterfly's. Just everything about them screams new beginnings. Im so happy to hear your now at peace and happy no less.
I have to agree I too would look into a complaint about that officer, its not her job to say such things to you.
Yeah, its all a bit much right now. But I will do that. If I was any less determined comments like that would break me. So im sure it would for others too.
I wont let it go.
Out shopping this morning. After being in almost complete isolation for 6 days its kind of nerve wracking being back out in the community.
Bigggggggg hugs. :hug:
:hug: I was nervous & didn't sleep properly for months. Even when staying with my brother & SIL.
I'm fine now, but went back 12 months later to stay with his family & I slept very little even then :/ 12 months & I was terrified. Especially that first night.
Double post
Thinking about you, hope you're doing well xx
Thanks girls. Doing ok. Mood is a bit funny. Up and down. Think now that the adrenaline has worn off its sent my emotions into overdrive.
I'm a much better parent now. DS is responding beautifully. He is listening, engaging, showing signs of trusting me and himself. His behaviour has improved dramatically. He understands what is expected of him and is seeing other people respecting me and backing me up and he is slowly reigning himself in. I am a thousand times more patient than I was. I havent yelled out smacked at all in 3 days, I haven't felt the need. Just reducing that stress has had a huge impact. I didnt realise just how much it was affecting me. Us.
Great to hear hun been meaning to txt u:
Amazing to hear that hun xox it will only get better im praying :hug: are you still at the shelter? Do you stay there for long?
So happy to read you are doing well hun! Just Try to ride the emotions out and keep reminding yourself how far you've come when the seeds of doubt come knocking. You are doing amazingly :hug:
Yeah still at the refuge. I will be here for a few months. Taking advantage of the counselling and all the resources they are offering as we really need it. So will probably stay for majority of the time Im allowed.
So very happy to hear you are doing well Cal, and that you are taking advantage of all that these services are offering. Your future is looking so very bright my friend! x
Good feelings gone. I am so so low.
Everything was great until my Mum recieved a letter for me a couple of weeks ago. She asked me if I wanted her to send it to me. I asked her what it was thinking she would probably be able to tell from the envelope.she opened it and in it was my new concession card with the refuges PO box on it.
Centrelink screwed up. They got my postal address (the PO box) and my home address (my mums- as they require "something" in that field) the wrong way around.
This meant my mum now knew the town the refuge is in. She is not safe. If pressed she would give certain people (police/lawyers/etc) that information.
It was a breach of the refuges confidentiality and my safety.
I was forced to leave by circumstances that should have never come about.
I am devastated. Completely and utterly heartbroken. That place was my home. I was so happy there. Happier than I have been for as long as I can remember.
Now I am in a townhouse back in the suburbs. There are marks and holes in every wall, a family of mice in my living room, the floors make my feet black within 30 mins of showering. The house is so big its almost scary and its noisy. Creaking and everything makes noise.
The neighbors I havent really met yet although I've been here a week. Except one of the neighbors kids.
The other ladies were like family. So beautiful and caring and kind.
I cant deal with this. I hate it. I hate being here. I miss the staff and residents at the other place so much. I just want to go home to the other refuge.
They said they would still support me. They said they would still be there for me and to just call or email but I havent heard from them in 3 days. My old case worker said shed call me on thursday. But nothing. And I am sure they are just busy but I cant help but think they are just done with me. They have new clients to care about.
I feel nauseas constantly. I am eating, but I dont want to.
I want - need - to go home. And I cant. Centrelinks stuff up has made that impossible.
:hug: to you honey. You are so strong and have come so far. You got through the hardest part. It sucks that this has happened but you will get through this too. Give your old case worker a call and have a chat. I'm sure just even talking to her will help :hug: Also keep reminding yourself of how much more relaxed you have been feeling and how much better it is for the kids :hug: You can do this. You will do this. You are an inspiration to so many other women and just an amazing example for your own children.
MR is right. You've come along way. Life is 2 steps forward, 1 step back. This is just a chance to prove that you can still come out on top, even stronger than before!
I'm gutted for you that this has happened, but life has a way of working itself out :) and it will.
:hug: keep your chin up chick x
I have been a reader but not a poster in this thread so I hope you don't mind me writing. I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't believe they made you leave when it was centerlink who stuffed up!
I recommend you call your old case worker, I'm pretty sure they still have a duty of care for you especially if they are planning on keeping contact with you after your exit from their service. And more than that they would feel terrible that red tape caused you to leave early. If not do they have a phone counselling service you can utilize? I know kids helpline often prioritise calls from those who have been clients in other service programs they provide and can access your notes history if you allow it. They speak to anyone under 25 yrs.
Please seek help, there are plenty of people and services who want to try to help. Don't give up, it sounds like you have come so far!
Oh hun my hearts breaking for you. And what im about to say may not mean much now,it will later.
I was in a refuge with my 2 boys. I went there on my sons bday so i felt crushed. And like the place your in now i hated it! The homes were 2 bed homes and we had 2 women in each home. So i and my boys were in one room and another lady and jer kids had the other room we shared the kotchen bathroom and small tv room.
It was ok untill i was made to move one home down, the woman and her kids were so bad. They would hurt my boys steal our food as we had to share a fridge. So many times i wantes to just give up and go back.
But trust me the short term pain will be worth it. Dont let those kids come over if it helps. Find an outlet for yourself, mine was reading or watching a dvd. Call the other place tell them whats going on and how your feeling. thinking of you xx