This time Im doing it. Really.

You're right Clover she is old fashioned. Shes very much stuck at 16yrs old with the views of her parents generation as her guide. She means well but its so frustrating. I really thought she'd get it since she escaped a physically abusive relationship . And it seemed like on some level she did but herental illness and old fashioned views got in the way and made her thoughts very contradictory.

Youve had time to process it whereas it would have been a bit of a shock for your Mum... im sure over the last few years you have stayed with your partner because its just been easier then leaving and for your kids sake, it sounds like your Mum is still stuck in this thinking pattern. She will get there in time though, especially once you fill her in with all the miserable parts of the last couple years. Prove to her that your strong and can do this... and show her that your going to break that old fashioned cycle of just putting up with crap for your kids sake!
My Mum actually tried leaving my abusive Dad when I was young but my grandparents told her she couldnt.. and she listened and stayed miserable with him til my youngest sister was 18 cos it was the 'right thing to do' then left him (well actually no, he was having an affair and left her in the end).

It's our generation that needs to change this once and for all!
Good luck for tomorrow!!

You can do this Calluna, as scary as it may be. Even if his behavior has changed a little now, you're leaving the years of poor treatment he's put you through in the past and will likely continue to put you through in future.

Have you got people coming to get you/help you move things? I'm sure you haven't forgotten anything, but can you get a kind of checklist from one of the places that's been helping you out? If you do forget something small I'm sure it's probably replaceable.

Big hugs and good luck :hug:

:hug: Calluna. Good luck.

(I was going to write more, but can't seem to make any sense, so I will just say: You are awesome. :) )

PM me here or FB if you want to talk.

Thanks girls.
I couldn't do this without everyone's support.

Good luck <3

My mum and sister were only good at supporting me because they had seen what had been happening first hand and the shell of a person that I had become. My mum had begged me to leave for months before I actually did. When I did leave I told my best friend who although she supported me because of who I am, she didn't understand and said similar things to what your mum did. I think its hard for people when its emotional/psychological abuse, you can show them a bruise, a cut, a broken limb. You can't show them the bruises on the inside that can hurt just as much as the physical ones.

Good luck tomorrow (or next Thursday). You can do this and you have all of BB backing you. :hug: You are strong.

We are behind you Calluna giving you a gentle nudge. We are beside you holding you hand and reminding you that you and your kids deserve so much more that the crap you've put up with for ages.

There's a meme going round on fb at the mo that says:

I'm not telling you it's going to be easy... But its going to be worth it.

It's worth getting your joy back and breaking the cycle of adult role models who abuse partners, like your mum and yourself have been abused. You deserve more and you can do this.

XO

Good luck, you can do this xx

I have someone lined up to grab the last of the things I wanted out. I might actually follw though on this this time. *panics*

Good luck calluna :hug: you are in my thoughts and I hope it all goes well whenever you decide to do this. You CAN do it! Xoxo

sending you my love & :hug:'s. you CAN do this hunny. stay strong. we're with you every step of the way xxx

Follow through & STAY STRONG! You can do this & it IS the right thing to do!

Good luck thinking of you often. I hope it all goes smoothly. You can do this . * hugs*

Good luck and you can do this!!!!!!

:hug:

Sorry, double post.

I asked him for the car seats. And got interrogated.

Why? - taking the kids for a play.

Where are you going? - just to the shops (theres a playground there)

Why do you need both? - Because friend will have all 3 kids.

How will you fit them? - Were taking two cars. Her husband is coming.

Where are you going? (As in be more specific) - X shops.

Why arent you just getting the bus? - Because I didnt feel like it. Im sick of getting the bus all the time. It takes ages.
Why are you interrogating me?

Im not I asked like 3 questions!
So why do you need them? - Because friend and husband are going to the shops tomorrow and asked if we wanted to come so i asked her to pick us up because I didnt feel like getting the bus!

Right. Was that really that hard?

*let it go*

Not entirely sure he believed my story but he didnt stop me getting them out. Didnt consider him asking where we were going. Normally he couldnt care less where I go with my friends. He never asks about anything as we never talk about anything. :/

Good on you! Stay strong and positive. Thinking of you tomorrow x

Thinking of you for tomorrow :)

You can do this. You can call on me any time day or night if you need company. xoxo

Good on you. You go girl. Will be thinking of you. Stay strong and focused.

Good on you honey! Stay strong. You're doing so well! Youve done so well to make all these plans and follow through. Your gorgeous kids deserve this, and so do you xox

Feeling much better this morning. Still scared but without the mini panic attack ecerytime I think about it. Just waiting for him to go to work before I can get my act together...

Be thinking of you H. I'm not working tomorrow if you need a hand or want a catch up

Good luck today, thinking of you xo

Thanks BD, will see how the day turns out and let you know. :)

Good luck Calluna. :clap:

Cherry ripe balls made (hopefully they last until playgroup tomorrow. Lol)
Now to get to packing if only the baby would get off my boob!

All packed. Just waiting for dv connect to tell me where im going.

Good luck Calluna. Hope they let you know soon xx

Good luck. I meant my offer last night, so if you need anything - you know where I am.

All the best xxx

:hug: xx

Make sure you're signed out of everything on computers. Maybe even change passwords :)

Go you!

You know how to contact me (and lots of others) don't think for a moment your bothering any of us if you need something, we're reaching out to help because we want to and because we care.

Thinking of you!

sending you much love and strength Calluna, for today and the coming weeks.

know that we are all behind you 110% :grouphug:

:hug:'s honey. thinking of you xxx

you should be so proud! you're so brave :)

Good on you. Anything you need let me know. Xoxox

You're amazing!

You can do it. You're doing it! Thinking of you xx

Stay strong.