This time Im doing it. Really.

[Arimeh]

I'm happy to see that you are getting out of the relationship, my sister was in a dv relationship (thrown against walls, horribly beaten etc) and it took her 2 years to leave.

Can you move to a cheaper part of brisbane? I know where i live there are cheap rentals in units and townhouses etc - I'm north of brisbane. If you move near me I can help you! We also have lots of support where I live because it is a known low income area - we have cheap groceries if you need it (a trolley for $30 in particular) so that always helps relieve some of the financial pressure.

Always here to help if I can!

[toomanyshoes]

Also on top of CL you'll have child support from ex, get them to deal with it and get it from him, I really wouldn't go with a private arrangement.

[Jellyfish]

Just got off the phone to clink.
- 2 kids + 1 adult living on 660 pw in Bris. Is that doable?
We recieve more than that now and less expenses but I don't know where a lot of it goes as he controls all the money. Plus Im feeding 2 extra adults (df and mil). So Im not sure what to base it on.

Im thinking 300 to rent still leaves me with 360 pw for everything else. Would that cover it?

You can do it, you can. Don't forget you might get child support and rent assistance? And you'll have a health care card which can reduce costs of utilities and things. Always ask!!

I'm also in Brisbane if you need any help or things or just someone to hang out with.

ETA: Also 'they' say the 1/3rd thing for rent/mortgage but when you're on a low income it never really works like that, rent just doesn't scale that far down. We are on a little more per week than that and about 55% of our income is spent on rent (we had to have somebody go guarantor on our initial rental agreement though we didn't have rental/loan history because I've never borrowed money and we both came out of our parents homes at that point and my past rentals were always in DD1s dads name etc etc so it would have been quite the risk for a someone to take) but we are fine. You make it work.

[Calluna]

I was hoping to stay in the carindale area (mt gravatt would be fine) because Ive just enrolled ds in kindy for next year and he loves it there. If we cant I will go further but itd be better to stay here if we can.

Ive just been looking at rentals and there is a few under 300 a week but not much. There was a place with bright pink interior. Lol Im sure DS would love that. Hes obsessed with pink things lol

[BlackCat]

Unless he is likely to be supportive of your leaving, don't count on Child Support in your calculations if you can. If you can consider it a bonus and if you get it wonderful, but if you are counting on it to survive and it isn't forth coming then you could end up stuck when you need it most.

[Arimeh]

I was hoping to stay in the carindale area (mt gravatt would be fine) because Ive just enrolled ds in kindy for next year and he loves it there. If we cant I will go further but itd be better to stay here if we can.

Ive just been looking at rentals and there is a few under 300 a week but not much. There was a place with bright pink interior. Lol Im sure DS would love that. Hes obsessed with pink things lol

I know you have said you want to stay in that area, but if it helps, DD2 is going to kindy next year, and they are an awesome kindy and I know they still have vacancies. They are a C&K one as well but a community kindy so if you have a health care card, the fees are about $2 a day (I think, its around $33 a term from memory).

Anyway, just putting it out there. I'm sure you will find something, even if it is pink LOL

[Calluna]

Thanks Mel. I appreciate it.
If its not possible to stay here I might make that my next choice. Where are you? Pm me if you don't want it on the boards.

[Arimeh]

You can add me on Facebook if you like - pretty sure we have lots of mutual friends

[Calluna]

Ok off to hunt you down then


Edit: Done

[Olive]

I know you have said you want to stay in that area, but if it helps, DD2 is going to kindy next year, and they are an awesome kindy and I know they still have vacancies. They are a C&K one as well but a community kindy so if you have a health care card, the fees are about $2 a day (I think, its around $33 a term from memory).

Check that out with centrelink as here in Victoria health care card holders are not to be charged any fees, that includes if what there is a difference between what the government funds and the kinder charges. That's for next year, I'm unsure about this year

[Calluna]

Thanks Olive. Ill add it to my list. Lol

Our kinder is going up next year but she said it would still be less than 50 a term.

I feel so bad deceiving MIL. Our kitchen is finally almost finished and shes asking me what bench top I want and I don't want to choose. I'm trying to get her to go with what she likes but she won't and keeps telling me I'm the one who has to live with it so its up to me.

[Chocaholic]

Don't worry about your MIL. Does she know what her son is like? If so, I would hope she would understand when the dust settles.

If nothing else, tell her you simply can't decide and are happy with her choice of bench tops.

[Teeki]

It's just a bench. Whatever you choose ultimately won't matter, it'll serve it's purpose. Unless you wanna go choose something really ugly that no one else will want to live with! If I were you I'd just pick something neutral that matches the rest of the kitchen and won't cost her much.

After all this she can't hold anything against you. You can't be expected to stay in this relationship for the sake of his mother and benchtops.

[Calluna]

She has spent tens of thousands on this place to make it nice for us. Its not just benches, that was just the current example.
I guess I just feel bad that its finally almost finished and Im leaving.
It wont change my decision but I feel bad about it.

[Calluna]

Double

[Teeki]

Yeah, it does suck. Especially if you get along and she's been kind to you. But it is her house and she's making it nice for her too, and anyone else who may live there now oe in the future. It'll be good for her son who I'm assuming will stay there, and it'll be good if she sells or rents it.

[~*familyof3*~]

Hi Calluna, Well done on your choice

I to was going to say based on when I left a dv relationship, Its best to work your budget out without adding child support as you can not be sure he will pay it. That being said after months of not receiving it and then when I did he had worked out when it was paid to me he would come over and take it back.So while it looked like he was paying it (as he was) he was taking it back. Anyway after all that I had a apt with clink and a social worker and they made me exempt from having to claim it, they re-assessed it every year. And now its been lifted and he pays it.But if it gets like that that can be an option.

You will also get rent assistance too.

As for the MIL thing, if she really wont let it go and you have to choose maybe say something like you would like it if you both picked it together, that way she thinks she's getting what she wants and yet she will be somewhat choosing the one she likes?? Other wise just pick whatever and let it be water off a ducks back.

I would also slowly start moving the things that are near and dear to you out of the house eg photos, trinkets ect that way you wont have to fight to keep them or risk them being damaged, not saying he would but he may damage them to get at you out of anger.
And while your there maybe do the same with your fav linens homewares ect too

[Calluna]

Teeki - Yeah I know..