Unmarried Parents - How To Tell The Kids That You're Not/Don't Want To Get Married

[Tegam]

Why not say weddings cost too much money and we prefer spending money on x, y, z at the moment

[Gigi]

my dd got obsessed about acting out weddings around age 4. Since her father and i spilt up, the amount of times she has put us on the spot (separately) about "when are you getting married?" has been very numerous. She is trying to manipulate us all back together, so we're in the same dwelling again, i think she assumes that if we are married, we'll HAVE to live together, and then she will get her dream (having both parents under same roof).

And i'm sure she would love to be a flowergirl at a wedding.

The royal wedding last year was very impressive to her. Dressing up as the bride, still a strong dressing up fave.

i have a really hard time discussing with her, why we're not married.

Her father proposed, then did nothing further. I wanted so badly to be married, then become pregnant. Obviously that didn't happen. And the lack of marriage/committment played a major role in our breakup. So it's a very raw topic, for my DD to bring up.

so much unfinished business. i flounder when she asks.

[fionas]

I'm tending towards something like, "getting married makes some people very happy. Mummy and daddy are already very happy to be your mummy and daddy."

[Gigi]

I'm tending towards something like, "getting married makes some people very happy. Mummy and daddy are already very happy to be your mummy and daddy."

that's a good one (for couples).

[Livinthedream]

Maybe ask her what difference, in HER life, would you getting married make?
Mummy would still be mummy, dadddy would be daddy, you would all still live in the same house and eat the same food and have the same toys and dog and blah blah... Then explain, that, mostly a wedding would just be a big, expensive party and that you would reather spend the monry on a nice holiday.
Thats what I am planning on telling my DS anyways