What am I doing wrong? Is it me??

[jemima]

hello all

Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong section...

What am I doing wrong? I just feel like I am not coping at the moment. I feel like the two eldest children (DS1 nearly 4 and DS2 just 2) never ever listen to me and I feel like I do so much for them (take them here and there - the parks, walks, shows, do cooking, etc etc ? the list goes on) and I never get anything in return except they seem to want more more more. I know they are totally reliant on me and this is what a parent does for their children but I dont know I kind of feel unappreciated and like I am beating my head againsts a brick wall.

I am going out of my head with the fact they never listen (well they do listen but today they didnt and we were out in public and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry). I think this all stems from the fact we went out today to a really busy kids event and I felt like I was chasing after them the entire time and it has worn me out and I felt stressed and wasnt able to enjoy it at all.

I feel like I am the only one who isn?t coping ? that it must be me. Everyone else seems to have the mothering thing down pat except me.

I worry I am scarring the children when I have a melt down like I just did(I kind of popped when we got home). I know they are just kids so am I expecting too much to have them listen and follow instructions?

I am making them out to be devil children and they aren?t at all - I think it is more me just feeling flat and stressed about life. The eldest one in particular is pretty easy going but it just seems than when they get together it makes for crazy times - but maybe my expectations of them are too high??

It doesn?t help that DS2 is not sleeping well at all at the moment so I am tired and just worn down by his behaviour at night.

I am feeling very very woe is me at the moment and I detest feeling like this as I know it doesn?t help anyone but I cant pull myself out of the doldrums.

Does anyone else feel like things are out of control, that their children never listen? I feel stressed all of the time and like I am sinking - well not all of the time but definitely today.

Gosh I am sorry for pouring all this out but if I didn?t do it on here my DH would have copped it.

I am just so worried that I am a bad parent and maybe the fact I am feeling to woe is me it isn?t helping the situation.

Don?t get me wrong we have some great times, but just right now I feel very sad and stressed.

I know this doesnt make a lot of sense so if you ahve gotten this far well done and thanks for reading.
Sorry for all of this.
Jem

[christy]

Mate, I called DH home today because I couldn't cope with it all. So you are not alone. Its hard, these ages are hard, they do run opposite directions and don't listen at the best of times.... So I think a good idea is to make sure you have some recovery time, some time to appreciate you (no one else will!!) It should be a demand. I'm going to have a bubble bath in a few minutes because I didn't get a shower today, I didn't get to go to the toilet & to get changed I had to have my almost 2yr old screaming at my feet & trying to pull clothes away from me.

I baked with them today, I cleaned them up, I put eye drops in their gunky eyes, I took them to the GP, I played with them, I put on a DVD and sang with them, I made them food, I cleaned up after them.., and I know I will never ever get a Thank you today because thats my job. I know when I'm having issues coping that I need a break, otherwise I won't be up to doing it all over again tomorrow.

Maybe schedule some you time, at night when your DH is home, get a massage, get your hair done, do something just for you totally selfish. you are doing a great job!

[jemima]

Thanks Christy. When I think clearly I know this is my job and they are just little people who are totally dependent on me so at times I wonder if my expectations are too high. I dont know??!!!

Thanks for making me seem normal LOL. I just dont like feeling like I do. I sometimes wonder gee am I depressed or is it just that life is insanely busy and I just need to accept that?

Enjoy your bubble bath - sounds just divine. Might have to have one of those myself tonight.

[Chocaholic]

Jem, you are so very normal. I only have one at the moment so i have no idea how I am going to cope with two and on the bad days I feel like I am going to fall in a screaming, sobbing heap. Some days are just write-offs.

Have your bubble bath and remember that you are a fantastic mum.

[Phteven]

Jemima, I could have written that myself. I just keep telling myself that in 18 years they can move out and I can relax and read trashy novel all day.

[jemima]

Thanks CourtRach! You will cope fine with two - we just have to dont we. But as my post suggests some days are just wayyyyyy harder than others! Being a mother is by far the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life

Chloe - you make me laugh - I love idea of reading trashy novels all day!

[jemima]

Just a little update - DS2 is now sleeping like a dream child so I am feeling sooooo much better about things. It is amazing how much sleep or lack of it can make you feel CRAZY!

DS2 has been sleeping well for a week now after we implemented some new sleep strategies and his behaviour during the day is now 100% better - not that it was ever really bad but he is so much more balanced so I think his behaviour before was just tiredness. I feel good about things and am actually enjoying being with them.

After my crazy day last week I went out for a wine (just had one but could have had an entire bottle lol) and a movie with a friend - she has three children of a similar age and it was the best pick me up. I saw the movie mamma mia and I laughed and laughed and felt normal.

Thanks gals
Jem

[Lulu]

Good o!

I have 2 about the same age....phew, they can run you ragged. Make sure you schedule catch up time with your GF at least once a fortnight. I don't know where I'd be without my Friday nights. Its made a HUGE difference in the way I cope with the liddle buggers....