Wow FC. I love the way you look at things. I wish we all had the strength to do that

Heaven it is a very difficult situation. If it was me (apart from trying to do what FC suggested!) I would let your mum call her partner whatever she likes. But when you refer to him to your DD, use whatever name you are comfortable with (his first name presumably). She will be far more likely to learn what to call him from you, then from your mum. Down the track when she uses his name rather than Poppy, if anything is said, just shrug and say "she calls xxxx Poppy so I guess she thinks of you as ....".

GL!