Hi girls

I know I've bored some of you already with my MIL saga, so I won't go in to that. Only to say that she decided she didn't want to see us or my DD (her only grandchild) some months ago and then changed her mind and has seen us half a dozen times ('cause we're polite and accommodate her). On with the Xmas story...

We told her that we were probably going up to Qld for Xmas to be with my Mum and sisters. However, she could buy Lucy a present to take with us if she liked. (B4 now we asked her to not buy anything for any of us, long story, uncontrollable overbuying and tantrum-throwing by her at apparent lack of appreciation by us) She came over a week and a half ago to see Lucy for a little while (short bursts is all we're doing at the moment) and Xmas was not mentioned. We usually get a SMS or email afterwards saying how lovely Lucy is, etc, etc and then a subsequent SMS or email about seeing us again a few weeks later. We figured the same would happen this time to arrange Xmas, but so far nothing.

Now, we weren't going to call her to organise meeting up with her if she doesn't want to or is throwing another tantrum (happens in cycles). Or should we?? We have tried to do the right thing by laying down a few ground rules, but never denying Lucy access to her grandmother by letting her come over to visit. I know she has her nose thoroughly out of joint 'cause we chose someone she is very jealous of to be Lucy's godfather (all in her head and a bit silly, since he really cares about Lucy and surely that's all that matters) last month and probably 'cause we're going up to my Mum's.

As it turns out, due to $$ only Lucy and I are visiting my Mum and we're leaving Xmas night. We're having friends over for Xmas lunch and don't want to do a meal with MIL and her partner (way too long together). Mostly we're not being overly friendly 'cause she won't even acknowledge what she did earlier in the year, let alone apologise or try to find some neutral ground with us.

Any suggestions?? We got her a present from Lucy (enlarged photo of Lucy in a frame) and so didn't send her a card, figuring we'd be seeing her? Should DP just drop the present off on Xmas Eve if we don't hear anything? Or should we not give it to her if she decides not to give Lucy something?

We kind of want to take the high ground here, but not go beyond our boundaries, if that makes any sense... Any advice or experiences you've had would be appreciated!