DH and I always said that in a perfect world, provided financial and emotional resources are sufficient, we would have 4. But we agreed on 3.

DS was a terrible sleeper and still winds up in bed with us nearly every night. I was really starting to think 2 would be my limit. But DD is such a sweetheart that we are now saying 4 again and we aren't bothering to take any precautions...I am ready for number 3 anytime and DD is only 3 months old.

Here's a way of looking at it - I believe the general advice is that the youngest child should be at least 12 months old before a decision is made on vasectomy/tubal ligation. Why don't you defer any definite decision on #3 till your DD is 12 months and then see how you feel? You're only just now coming out of the newborn mayhem - of course you won't be feeling inclined to upset the applecart right now, not when things are just starting to become more settled.

Your DS and DD are very close together and it must have been really hard work in those early days.

DH and I wanted our kids closer together but it just didn't happen that way and in the end we think having 2 years between them has worked very well for DS, much better than 18 months would have. I have friends with kids only 18 months apart and I do think the extra 6 months I had up my sleeve has made a huge difference to our experience. You may decide to have #3 but just with a bigger gap this time.