Last night I was woken up by the sound of what sounded like DS1's voice at around 3.00 - 3.30am. I went in to check his room and went to his bed and found clothes rolled up to make out he was in bed. I then rang his mobile, no answer, a rang several times and then called my sister to see if he answers her calls. No answer. I was so worried about DS, and didnt want to wake DH about it. I stayed up and continuously checked his room and his bed, his window was slightly opened and the room was just so cold. You know all these things started going thru my mind, like where is he etc.
The last time I went to his room just before DH got up to go to work and I had heard a car parked out the front and what sounded like DS getting back inside the house, which is what made me check his room again. Still nothing/noone. I then closed his door again and not long after heard some coughing, which I knew sounded like DS. I went back into his room checked his bed and nothing. I then thought maybe it was my other son which he said it wasnt and then I heard the coughing again, by this time DH was in the shower. I went back into his room, no-one in bed looked under the bed there is DS.
Now the reason I am questioning DS is I have caught him once before yet this was now where near as early. That particular day he was trying to say he was running around the park all morning - Ahh what at 5am. He is 16yrs.
Today he is trying to tell me that he was hiding under his bed as he had people looking at him thru the window, (You know the spirit kind) which I believe he is trying to convince me of as he truly believed he saw a man staring at him one night and noone was there and I had kept telling him that.
I ended up talking to DH about this as he wanted to know why I was up half the night sitting on the lounge.
DS then started calling me a liar in front of his father and that I am trying to cause trouble for him, nice one ha. My son was saying all of these hurtful things, and here I am waiting up all night with worry.
Now last night DD1 was telling me DS was talking to a boy on the phone and the boy told him that it was his 20th birthday today (yesterday) so that is something that I wonder about if that is where he was. With this 20yro.
I just dont know whether to believe DS and take his word for it once again, or do you think I really did catch this boy of mine out. I honestly dont need this right now. I know he is a good kid but am starting to wonder about the friends he keeps.
oh Csab! what a hard one!
i dont know what to think... if he has snuck out before maybe he did again (i know i used to *blush*).
How does he get out... window or door, can you do something to the door to make it squeek... ie drop the hinge a little without him knowing...?
The fact he was embarressed and calling you a liar means maybe something did freak him out and he was embaressed for Dad to know? But that doesnt explain the pillows/clothes rolled up.
Maybe the 2 of you need to have a sit down with him tonight and find out what is hapening... in a no threatening way ...
i hope i have helped (as i have no experience with teenage boys )
I used to sneak out too when I was about that age and also hang out with much older friends - however I never did it on a weeknight. If you know how he is getting in and out I would do something that alerts you when it is happening or make sure it isn't an access eg. a window lock with a key or as PP said make sure it makes a loud noise. You could also hide a baby monitor in his room so that you can hear him if he does get up
However, I would probably only do this if discussing things with him upfront doesn't resolve anything. Sit him down and explain that you know he wasn't in his room last night and you know that he was on the phone etc and hopefully he will tell the truth.
It's tough - I'm not really looking forward to the teenage years (especially as I know what I was like!!)
To be honest hon, I dont know many 16 yr olds that would hide under the bed if they saw someone, or many that would take the time to make a "fake' body in the bed. I beleive he is lying to you.
He also seemed to get quiet angry, another sign he was "caught". If he was telling the truth he would of been pleading his case, not been so defensive.
I can only suggest a heart to heart, and explain you will take great measures to ensure he cant leave his room at night if he cant be trusted. Give him the chance to prove he can behave first though. Put the ball in his court, and hope he plays nice.
I'm also not looking forward to the next few years!!!!
You said that you thought you heard him a few times during the night, but he wasn't in his bed. Is it possible that he could have been under his bed the whole time?
I don't want to alarm you, but there are a lot of chemical changes occurring in kids during adolescence and sometimes depression or other mental health issues arise at this time. Have you seen signs of paranoia, or sensing that he believes things that aren't true?
It may be that he was out all night, but keep an open min that he might need some medical help.
Kate - I was hearing him cough from around 6.50am in the morning. Not earlier than that, and it was around the time I thought I heard him come home.
Anyway, I have decided to give DS the benefit of the doubt, "this time" I will definately be keeping a close eye on him and he knows that. I am truly hoping that DS isnt telling me a fib and that he was under his bed. DS is normally pretty good, and does well in school and everyone around him thinks the world of him, it just seems to be those teenage yrs. I guess for me I just was not expecting to not see him in his bed it was quite a shock especially at that time of morning. Thanks again everyone, I just really needed to get that vent out.
What would you think?
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