Hi
we are Kathryne (31) Anthony (35) From Sydney.
i have 2 children from a previous marriage
Ashlee (9) and Ricky (7) 23 months difference between these two. I have since remarried and now have a 12 week old boy, Jack (12 weeks old)
I found having the first 2 close it was NOT hard at all. BUT now nearly 10 years later having another, i am finding it HARD this time round, i feel like i am a new mother who has NEVER had children.
Things i would change if we have another bub...ask for MORE help, hire a cleaner (if $$ permit) and not be soo hard on myself
I'm Melanie from Brisbane. I'm 28 and my husband Michael is 47. I am expecting baby #4 in May. I fell pregnant with my daughter, Georgia, now 11.5, when I was 15. I knew she'd be an only child for a few years, even before I became a single mother before she turned 1. I knew I had to get back to school and studies etc. I often felt guilty having to study and work full time over the next few years as it meant her in care long days and when I was doing shift work I was often collecting her from my sister's bed at 11 pm, or dropping her off there at 5 am. I knew I had to do it though. I met my husband when she was 5. We had William, now 2 when Georgia was a month shy of 9, so nearly 9 year age gap. It was great as Georgia helped so much and loved finally having a sibling, I'd go change his nappy and she'd call out.. I've already done it (all the time). I enjoyed having a husband with a steady income enabling me to just be a mum for a while. Luke arrived 16.5 months after William, and that's when everything seemed to get sooo much harder. Luke doesn't sleep (still) and with trying to do the school run in the morning and afternoons for my daughter, it made/makes it difficult to establish a decent nap routine for the boys. My daughter definitely lost a bit of interest in being so hands on with helping, although she still does help alot. I found it difficult in the first few months having a 1 yr old and newborn as they had such different needs. I kept thinking how much easier it would be with twins! (not that I would know) But trying to breastfeed at home or shops/public and having a 1 yr old running off (he's an escape artist) or needing something etc. It has definitely made a difference since Luke has gotten older and recently turned 1. I make them the same things for breakfast/lunch/dinner.. ie not having to make different meals for everyone. They can play with the same toys etc.
I finally started my UNI degree when Luke was only 4 months old, thinking there will definitely be no more children until I finish uni. I'm so excited about it after having my daughter so young. Anyhow.. very unexpectedly found we were expecting again and there will be a 18 month gap between Luke and the baby - so just scrapes in with 3 under 3, plus a nearly 12 yr old by then.
Although I felt the difficulty having children close in age and having such different needs in the early days, I now really feel the strain having these young babies/toddlers, and a pubescent daughter. She just got her first period after Christmas, and has been so hormonal. She misses out on alot of special time with me too as I am so busy/tired with the younger children. It makes me feel guilty.
I am usually/still am a very positive person, but the last year with my little Luke being such a difficult baby sleep wise has definitely taken it's toll on the whole family. I'm crabbier more often, my husband and I are constantly sleep deprived zombies.
In saying all this, I wouldn't have anything any other way though. I'm so lucky to have the family I have. Having my daughter so young instilled in me such determination to achieve and I know no limits to what I can accomplish. Things are definitely getting easier with Luke, and it's so beautiful to see the boys playing and so close in age.
I will be back at Uni (externally) when this next little baby is only 1 month old so have a few very busy years ahead.
My approach when things feel overwhelming or difficult is to constantly remind yourself it isn't like this forever, and focus on all the wonderful things you have in your life to be appreciative of, count your blessings and be grateful. And when you get those few minutes of peace and quiet each night - try and savour and enjoy them to recharge your mind and soul.
Gosh I can ramble on!!
HTH!
My children's birth dates are below if you require them
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