ah I have to giggle about the dinner thing, I ask dh all the time what he wants and he rarely has any clue so I guess it's ok if i know what I feel like because then I always get what I want, but when I'm stuck for ideas it's annoying. Generally though he doesn't ask permission for any purchases when we are out or at home. We have a great budget and we each get 'play money' so he buys whatever he wants and so do I. He will ask my opinion on clothes etc to see if I like them but even then he rarely buys clothes. As far as going out is concerned we both just say I'm ducking down the shops etc but if it's an extended outing either together or separately we will ask each other 1st to see if it'll clash with plans the other may have in mind etc but it's got nothing to do with either person controlling the other. For both of us our family and spending time together is the priority so we usually plan our separate outings for when the other is at work