: When it comes to boundaries, who is the more lenient parent?

39.
  • Mum

    15 38.46%
  • Dad

    14 35.90%
  • Neither we are the same

    10 25.64%
12

thread: Who is the more lenient parent?

  1. #1
    Administrator
    Add Rouge on Facebook

    Jun 2003
    Ubiquity
    9,922

    Who is the more lenient parent?

    In your household, who is the more lenient parent? Mum? Dad? Or is it fairly down the middle? And for those of you TTC who do you *think* might be more lenient? When I was pregnant I was pretty sure it was going to be marc, and even though things are pretty down the middle he does tend to give in more, or not get so annoyed at things but I think that has to do with the fact I am with Paris for longer periods of time. But it really tends to swing back and forth sometimes I can be lenient and other times its marc.

    I think the whole "wait till your father gets home" generation is well and truly dead, most kids I know fear their mums more than their dads LOL!

    What are your thoughts?

    *hugs*
    Cailin


  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004
    1,451

    I voted for neither we are both the same, although, sometimes Rob does like to 'turn a blind eye' and I have to be the bad one!!

    Kazz & co \/
    Nicholas 26/10/02

  3. #3

    I think we are both fairly even, but I am more tolerant than Andrew. I can leave Lachlan to cry for a while where as with Andrew he is telling him to be quiet after to screams. I tell Andrew to just tune it out but he asks how you can tune out that noise LOL.

    Kameron of course gets told off by me more as I am home with him the most but on weekends Andrew will tell him off and sometimes I think he has been told off for no real paticular reason. Usually the stuff he can get away with when I am just about LOL.

    So hard to say who is more lenient really probably me.

    Love :smt049

  4. #4
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004
    Melbourne
    11,171

    Seeing as we aren't parents just yet, I can't say for sure, but I think Aaron will be more lenient than me. When we have friends over (they have a 5yo & a 2yo) he always lets them get away with anything.

    But then again, when it's our own child I'm not so sure...

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004
    Victoria
    482

    We're pretty much the same, however there has been occasions when DH has gone a little OTT with his 10yr old son, where I would have just let it go.

    Jo

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2004
    Outer East, Melbourne
    581

    Nick is absolutely the softie of the two of us ! When he used to come home from work he was met with 'Daddy lol lol' from Caitlin and she'd go through his bag looking for 'treats'. He tries to say no and she carries on a bit and he gives in, whereas I don't.

    Are dads the softies with daughters ? I think I'd be the same with a son, but I imagine Nick would be a bit stricter with a boy.

    Barb.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2003
    Newcastle
    754

    deffinatly..... me!! lol id let josh get away with almost anything.. he would just give me that look and i was wrapped around his tiny little finger, though if it ws really important that he learnt not to do it then i would tell him off


    Lesley

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004
    3,303

    I let Kimberley do most things and Paul always tells her NO.
    Like when she plays with pencils and crayons he always tell her off.

    I say let her play as she has to learn she can only play with them sitting down.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2004
    Adelaide SA
    498

    DP is deffinitley the more lenient parent in our house, he lets Nicholas get away with anything and everything, he's a big softie LOL
    I always have to look like the bad guy.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    It depends on the situation, I am lenient about somethings and DH is lenient about others, so sometimes I'm the strict one and other times DH is. We're learning this more now, at least we were trained by the dogs first...lol!

    Christy

  11. #11
    lulusmum25 Guest

    I'd have to say I am the most lenient out of us. I know we are supposed to be consistent and persistent but sometimes for my sanity's sake I give in to her. Some days I just can't stand the whingeing and I think to myself is it going to harm her in any way and is it worth the argument. I am consistent with issues of politeness and manners but if it is over something trivial ie a video she wants to watch I end up giving in.

    Susan

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...
    3,793

    Although we have only had Aidyn with us for 4 months, there are a few little differences that are already pointing the way to DP being the more lenient parent.
    eg. When we have been carrying Aidyn around, and we need to put him in his bouncer so we can get stuff done, DP does not like putting him down because he always starts crying at first. He wants me to put him down so Aidyn sees me as the 'bad guy' LOL. Also if DP does end up putting Aidyn down, he will usually just pick him straight back up again if he whinges!!
    Aidyn already has DP wrapped around his little baby finger!!! LOL

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2004
    5,756

    I think it will be pretty equal with DP and myself, but then again Lily is only 5 weeks old so can't really tell, lol!

  14. #14
    ok take 2 of going back to work.....

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..
    4,264

    DH let's Maddy do most stuff & giggles when I yell, so the 2 of them gang up on me!!!
    I know she is scared of me coz she told one of my girlfriends, "I am so scared of my Mum when I have been naughty, so now I just always try to be good!"

    I have to say I have learnt from my sister & other friends that giving a n icch will slowly become a mile!!!

    Maddy is aqn Angel generally & it's becauswe she has always been given the same rules from day 1 (from me) so she knows what she can & can't do, I can see this one getting away with more coz DH hates it when she is sad, upset, or in trouble...
    But he hates her sitting at the dinner atble talking when she should be eating!!!! Takes her about 30+mins every night to eat dinner!

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Outer Eastern Subs - Melb
    1,544

    I am so with you on the dinner table thing, Tracey. Vivienne's had a cold for nearly two months and she just can't shake it. We've been back to the doctors and on two lots of antibiotics and nothing's making it go.

    I've now realised that she needs to have a decent feed immediately after school and also a smaller early dinner - 6pm or she just takes forever to eat! Last night, even though she sat down at 6.10pm it took until 6.45pm to finish her dinner. It's a battle, but she knows once I've drawn the line she can't get away with anything.

    Back to the topic at hand, I'd say DH and I both have moments when we're more lenient, I guess it depends on lots of different factors, but we try to be as consistent as possible because that's what it's all about - knowing where the boundaries are.

  16. #16
    Our castle is now full

    Nov 2004
    Western Australia
    2,300

    Im definately the "toughie" but thats cos im with them all the time. We are both the same in our expectations of the kids ..im just around more

    Jo

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member
    Follow Dustmite On Twitter

    Oct 2005
    Montana, USA
    534

    Over all I probably am, and DW accuses me from time to time, but I think it depends as we both have our moments. If I come home and DW has reached the end of patiance, I can take over and it probably just seems like I am more lenient when in reality I am probably no more than she was earlier in the day. Likewise, when I reach the end of my rope, DW seems to think I am to rash, etc. So maybe it is all just a matter of preception based on amount of time spent with children at any given time.

  18. #18
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004
    Melbourne
    11,171

    Oooh this is interesting to look back on now that Alexzander is here!! I think we're about even. Some things Aaron is more lenient than me & other things I am more lenient.

12