I know I have already replied, but I have just been thinking about this a bit more.
So your DH feels like he 'has' to buy you something, but he left it too late and went out to do some last minute shopping to buy something in a hurry? To me that would mean he would end up buying something impersonal, just something that looked good on the shelf at the time with not much thought gone into it, because he felt like it was something he had to do. Why not just tell him not to worry about it? I don't know about you, but I would like to teach my son it is better to give than to receive, and to feel good by the act of giving without expecting anything in return. Kids learn so much by our behaviour, so I would never want to show that I am feeling upset or even slightly disappointed over receiving any kind of gift, or even not to receive one at all.
I had sweet FA to unwrap this morning. No, not even the piece of paper with some thoughtful words about how DP feels about me - and that wasn't going to cost any money Zip, nada, niente. He apologised, in a half-arsed way and then said "you're probably used to it", so I nodded. No more to say, really.
My son knows all about giving - he thought birthdays were occasions to buy someone else something until this year, when the kinder kids wised him up a bit. There is no shortage in this household of being a gracious giver. Thankfully, he didn't notice that I had nothing under the tree.
As I was wrapping the final gifts last night I mentioned to DP that the kids have gifts because I did all the work, the kids have a tree because I brought it in (I wasn't supposed to because of my pelvis, but requests weren't successful) etc.
So, yes, it's usually a bit of a personal let-down every Christmas, birthday, birth (I rock at birth and I don't deserve, apparently, any kind of token for my efforts and intense preparations ).
bec293 - I don't want him to buy me something last minute. Christmas is on at the same time every year. I want to be thought about. Most people I know do. To put zero thought into someone who raises your children, keeps the fridge and pantry full, keeps you clothed and keeps the house from descending into a hazardous waste land is not exactly a good example to give to a son, either. Though I hold out lots more hope for DS, because I AM damn good example of how to be gracious, not ask for too much and get by on very little. I had been living in a caravan until September, and with very, very basic facilities all year - a last minute hair clip would have been a nice gesture, at this point! I keep second-guessing myself, thinking maybe I'm getting about with a sense of undue entitlement. Then I think of how we've been living all year...and I know it would have KO'd many stronger relationships by now!
Anyhow, vent over - the kids are super happy with their few offerings, a day with cousins and huge feastings. I'd rather spend Christmas in Kiribati, and one day I'll get my wish!
Mayaness - sorry you have such a crappy situation, sounds much more involved than mere gift giving. I didn't read your previous post until now, only the original post by Ash. Hope you get your Kiribati holiday one day
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Zip, nada, niente. He apologised, in a half-arsed way and then said "you're probably used to it", so I nodded. No more to say, really. 
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