How do I loose the Guilt?

[sloane]

i haven't been in the same position, but i did worry an awful lot about BFing early on & what i can say in hindsight is that i wish i had just stopped worrying, focussed on whether my DS was happy & healthy & well fed (no matter whether it was BF or FF) & enjoy those early months. time flies past & in a matter of months you'll be wondering why you used up so much energy worrying about it & giving yourself a hard time unnecessarily.

if your baby is well nourished, then you couldn't possibly be disappointing anyone i think you're right - you do need to talk to your DH & let him know how you're feeling. chances are he just wants you to be happy & would only be disappointed cos you are (hope that makes sense!).

be kind to yourself

[lilmisspositive]

i haven't been in the same position, but i did worry an awful lot about BFing early on & what i can say in hindsight is that i wish i had just stopped worrying, focussed on whether my DS was happy & healthy & well fed (no matter whether it was BF or FF) & enjoy those early months. time flies past & in a matter of months you'll be wondering why you used up so much energy worrying about it & giving yourself a hard time unnecessarily.

if your baby is well nourished, then you couldn't possibly be disappointing anyone i think you're right - you do need to talk to your DH & let him know how you're feeling. chances are he just wants you to be happy & would only be disappointed cos you are (hope that makes sense!).

be kind to yourself

So well said!!

[FabFiona]

In the end I asked myself one question, "Have I done everything in my power to make breastfeeding work?" I can honestly say that at the time I did do everything that I could to make it work. I saw lactation consultants, I tried expressing, I took the herbs, I fed frequently, lots of skin to skin. But it still wasn't working. So I made the best decision available to me at the time which was to switch to FF.

If you can honestly say that you have done everything available to you and it's still not working out, then that should help ease the guilt. I still felt terrible for a while, but it was more about mourning the lost relationship rather than an inability to continue breastfeeding.

[Party-of-five]

I went thru what you are now 3 times talk with your DH he wont be dissapointed my DH was proud of me for trying and he saw what a strugle it was.

go easy on yourself

[starangelk]

Kylz - you have done a great job babe and I think deep down you know that. But I totally hear you on the guilt thing and if only it was as easy as saying "I will not feel guilty from now on." I struggled with this too and I realised that for me, it was more about what other people thought of me for FF. Was DH disappointed I wasn't able to continue on? Were my BFing friends looking down on me and thinking I wasn't doing the best by DD? There was no magical answer for me to overcome this.........it was time that helped me. Time helped me see that DD was still growing, smiling, playing and entertaining us all and drinking formula too. I realised that I had absolutely not taken the easy option. FF involves steralising and mixing and shaking and preparation. BFing is such a wonderful process and it's my ideal but not for once do I feel like I took the easy option by FF.

I hope you can overcome these feelings soon Kylz..................you have a gorgeous DS

[~Lashes~]

you are not doing anything wrong, you are recignising that he isnt getting enough and doing something about it.
it is better that you do what you feel you need to and relax knowing he is getting what he needs, then to keep going and stressing that he isnt getting enough.
for me the sleep deprivation of them constantly feeding was enough to make the swich, once i had 'proper' sleep i knew it was the right choice. and altho id like to make 6 months this time, i know if i have to stop then it is the right thing for her, and she will still be my baby with out the boobie.

no idea if any of this make sence, sorry.

[Lolpigs]

I know this is an old thread but just want to say, I am in the same place right now.

Had a C/S Took till day 4 for my milk to come in and then it was only a trickle, and since then I've been fighting a fight of pumping round the clock, feeding, comping, taking herbs, BLA, skin to skin, LC's, spending days nursing straight, anything to get my supply to increase and nadda. Only recently did I speak with my mother who had completely the same problem and had to nurse/comp feed until I was 6mths becuase she didnt have enough milk either. No colostrum either, at least I had that.

I'm finding that her needs are just outstripping anything I can produce, and even now it is difficult to get 90mls a day for her so I can give her, her big feed at night of BM.

I still don't know if I could make the decision to stop as she seems to still love nursing, but it is definatley taking a huge toll on me while trying to recover from the operation and have spent many days in tears with guilt over my supply.

I won't say don't feel guilty becuase that is impossible, I will say you can only do the best you can with what you have. Life deals some crappy cards sometimes and making sure your baby is well feed and happy makes you the best mum ever imo. I'm just still now convincing myself of this too.