How do I loose the Guilt?

[Lolpigs]

I know this is an old thread but just want to say, I am in the same place right now.

Had a C/S Took till day 4 for my milk to come in and then it was only a trickle, and since then I've been fighting a fight of pumping round the clock, feeding, comping, taking herbs, BLA, skin to skin, LC's, spending days nursing straight, anything to get my supply to increase and nadda. Only recently did I speak with my mother who had completely the same problem and had to nurse/comp feed until I was 6mths becuase she didnt have enough milk either. No colostrum either, at least I had that.

I'm finding that her needs are just outstripping anything I can produce, and even now it is difficult to get 90mls a day for her so I can give her, her big feed at night of BM.

I still don't know if I could make the decision to stop as she seems to still love nursing, but it is definatley taking a huge toll on me while trying to recover from the operation and have spent many days in tears with guilt over my supply.

I won't say don't feel guilty becuase that is impossible, I will say you can only do the best you can with what you have. Life deals some crappy cards sometimes and making sure your baby is well feed and happy makes you the best mum ever imo. I'm just still now convincing myself of this too.

[Trillian]

Lolpigs, I thought it was guilt too at the time when I was going through it (4 times!), but now I realise it was sadness. Sadness that it wasn't the magical experience that it should have been. But you're dead right - you do the best with what you have. So many people successfully comp feed for months and it helped me deal with the situation too - I still had bubs on the boob, but then I also knew that they were getting enough from ABM to sustain them when I couldn't

[forshelby]

Trillian is right. I thought it was guilt but it was really sadness. For me,BF was the last thing left that I had wanted for my baby and for me, which hadn't been completely effed up and interfered with. It was an uphill battle from the moment I was separated from DS. My milk came in on day 7! He was comp fed right from birth because I was just not there to feed him the.first few days.

I think it's important to grieve the loss of your BF relationship. But never feel guilty. The fact that you tried so hard, and wanted to BF so much means that you're doing your job. Mothering is about nurturing., and you're making a tough decision to nourish your child. Now THAT is one hell of a mum, if you ask me. I still feel sad sometimes, but I remind myself to deal with things as they are, not how I wish they were.

[Lolpigs]

Your right forshelby and trillian, the sadness is overwhelming sometime but I try not to wish what was, just deal with how it is. Thanks guys

[onthefly]

Grief and regret are very understandable responses when breastfeeding isn't working out - many mothers feel this way, not just about feeding but all sorts of things when we don't achieve our ideals.
I agree it is really important to differentiate between this and guilt. Guilt is only appropriate if there is wrong doing, but using ABM doesn't fit the bill, does it? I think, also, it helps to get this clear in your own head, so you can concentrate on what you need to do.