Shocking behaviour from midwives

[Janie]

Lulu, how is your friend going? I have just come across this thread, and I would love to hear how things are turning out for her. I'm sorry she received such poor treatment in hospital, it's just not acceptable.

Kelly - great post, but I have to share the love LOL.

[LuluHB]

Hey Sez. She's doing really well, although not breastfeeding. I think she was just so upset by the whole thing unfortunately. She saw an LC who was lovely apparently and didn't pile on the guilt at all thank goodness - just lots of support and understanding. She kept trying to BF for a few days but her little princess by that time was well and truly happy on the bottle and she was having even more attachment issues. She's back at work in another couple of months so I think she sees it as easier to just keep Lucy on a bottle and formula so it will be easier when her mum takes over days looking after Lucy. Its all a bit sad about how it happened, but they're both very happy and settled and that's the main thing.

[Janie]

I'm glad she's happy with how things have turned out It's just such a shame that a new mum had to go through that, I feel outraged on her behalf! I hope she continues to enjoy her baby.

[Trillian]

Hi Lulu, I'm really glad that she didn't let her initial experience deter her from trying to seek further help. It's good to hear that she is happy and little Lucy is happy too.

[myboysmumma]

It makes me really MAD that this happens. I mean the very fact that they were ganging up on her and berating her - it is one thing to offer your opinion and/or medical advice (which is welcomed) but to make a new mother feel terrible about herself is ridiculous.

I had some TERRIBLE midwives and hated my hospital experience with a passion due to their constant interferring. The hospital was nice, etc but they made me feel terrible about everything. What made it worse was that all the advice conflicted with the advice from the previous midwife.

Thank you to the one or two fabulous midwives I had. Thank you to those who understand that offering support and education is important. Trying to force new mothers into what would be their choice is not.

Your poor friend

[mrsmac]

I had exactly the same thing happen with the night shift midwives, the ganging up etc except they were trying to force me to FF!!! I had areally bad crack and had been expressing blood but was determined to BF and they were trying to push me into formula, at one stage one was sent in while I was getting ready for a shower (I had a broken foot so was on crutches) to convince me that DS would have all these problems if I didn't give him formula and that of all her kids the FF one was the healthiest. I was so angry and upset, this all happened in the middle of the night when I had no family to help me. they ended up giving him one bottle which I refused to go near. luckily the LC was there in the morning and we sorted out a plan and I managed to BF.
The LC said that unfortunately a lot of the late night midwives pushed FF as it made it easier.
I guess what I am saying is that there can be the same problem the other way around and its not pleasant either!

[LuluHB]

I agree Mrs Mac. I was pushed into giving my DD a bottle of formula when she was 2 days old because she wouldn't settle one night (I think I was the only mum who had actually kept her baby with her, rather than sending her to the nursery!) I was so anti doing it but I was just so exhausted and distressed my new baby kept screaming that eventually as a new, inexperienced mum I gave in to their pushing. I think Kelly summed it up beautifully - education is what is missing for mums, midwives, nurses, OBs, paeds, everybody. And what is really missing is support, understanding and empathy.