oscaroscar, yep we'll be teaching her about all religions, I think thats important, but we'll skip the parts we don't like
LOL kidding, I'll be asking friends/family to help with that. Bit like godparents I suppose, only she'll have lots, to help her to learn about all different religions. Though there is a bit of truth to skipping the bits we don't like... more like skipping the bits that aren't relevant to modern society. Plenty of time for her to learn the oldfashioned bits later when she's an adult...
No offence to anyone of course...
Bath, oooo tricky one. I'm not really sure how to answer except to say that I have felt vulnerable in the past year. As the birth mum I would have loved to just be able to enjoy my babymoon after the birth. Shel had 6 weeks off but when it comes to running the house she can be really clueless, so while I had her home, I didn't really have a time where it was just me looking after Jazz and the rest of the world could wait (except for the 3 nights in hospital).
In that respect... I am resentful that I didn't get that time. Shel didn't have a strong protecter 'instinct' IYKWIM, her 'nurturing mum' side came out to Jazz, and I felt like I was completely unprotected. She didn't understand my need to just cocoon myself, to heal and bond after the c/s, she didn't go through that and she wasn't physically affected so it didn't occur to her that I needed shielding and protecting. I felt I couldn't say it either because she wanted to bond and ... so yeah I guess I am resentful that she didn't understand at all after the birth.
Leasha i think some of the "shielding" comes down to the person, not their gender! my DH will shield me from a lot, but some stuff he just assumes i'm ok with so doesn't worry about it. i do all the financial stuff, so i guess i shield him from that as well. it really is about the individual kwim?
i don't have any particular questions - have a lot of friends in same sex relationships, and one of the cousins i'm closest too is in a lesbian relationship and has two grown up children so i've kinda gone through all her ups and downs with her since i was a kid!
i do have to say i'm impressed you're making the effort to answer everyones questions though - if you haven't been exposed to relationships that aren't "normal hetero relationships" there can be a lot of questions
ooh - as to the religion bit - all jokes aside - i'm with you on exploring the parts that apply to "modern" life - there is a place for what used to be, and it's good to explain the way humanity has evolved - so that's definitely not just a "same sex parents" thing!
Yep it's hard to adjust for most new parents though... parenting takes practise whatever your gender. Becoming a parent stirred something within DH's brain chemistry and his testosterone served to direct his energies (nervous energy excess most of the time) to at least motivating him into action when it came to protecting me from modern life. I'm sure Shell will grow as a parent and partner though... you kinda can't help but develop more empathy when you become a parent. I didn't want to suggest that same sex couples have any kind of biological handicap... any more than hetro couples... but I'm sure there are challenges and I guess this issue would be one that could be tricky. Hormones play such a huge role in the overall "mood" of a household (says an extra aware mum of a 13yo DD!!!)... My DD and I tend to synchronise with our menstral cycles (as most females living and working in close proximity do) which means we ovulate and have visits from AF at roughly the same time. This often wrecks havoc on our family harmony! LOL So... as an extension of that I was wondering if you and Shell find that your hormonal connections work when it comes to being a family and couple... what happens when you both get that hypersensitive PMT feeling at the same time each month... or is it different for you? (ETA: sorry, this is quite personal... please don't feel pressured to answer) Maybe I'm just a super-sensitive person and am overlaying my situation onto you!? Ah now I'm rambling Thanks for your continued patience with answering my queries! I'll give it a rest soon... promise! LOL
Last edited by Bathsheba; November 6th, 2008 at 12:02 PM.
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it's hard to adjust for most new parents though... parenting takes practise whatever your gender. Becoming a parent stirred something within DH's brain chemistry and his testosterone served to direct his energies (nervous energy excess most of the time) to at least motivating him into action when it came to protecting me from modern life. I'm sure Shell will grow as a parent and partner though... you kinda can't help but develop more empathy when you become a parent. I didn't want to suggest that same sex couples have any kind of biological handicap... any more than hetro couples... but I'm sure there are challenges and I guess this issue would be one that could be tricky. Hormones play such a huge role in the overall "mood" of a household (says an extra aware mum of a 13yo DD!!!)... My DD and I tend to synchronise with our menstral cycles (as most females living and working in close proximity do) which means we ovulate and have visits from AF at roughly the same time. This often wrecks havoc on our family harmony! LOL So... as an extension of that I was wondering if you and Shell find that your hormonal connections work when it comes to being a family and couple... what happens when you both get that hypersensitive PMT feeling at the same time each month... or is it different for you? (ETA: sorry, this is quite personal... please don't feel pressured to answer) Maybe I'm just a super-sensitive person and am overlaying my situation onto you!? Ah now I'm rambling 
Thanks for your continued patience with answering my queries! I'll give it a rest soon... promise! LOL
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