Good/bad experiences with hospital staff due to being in same sex relationship
Hey all... I've just come home from the doctor where I had a blood test to check hcg levels. gotta go back in 48hours for another blood test to check the levels have risen. Apparently this is just routine as there is no reason for it...
Anyway, the doctor knows we are in a same sex relationship and have conceived by at home insemination using a donor. When he was writing out my referral for the hospital he asked what I'd like put in it about the father, suggesting we write that we dont know who the father is, to maybe tell the hospital that I'm bisexual and had random sex to get pregnant! I couldn't believe it and asked why cant I just say I used a donor and he was rambling something about you need the forms etc for having gone through IVF or IUI if using a donor... what the?? To which I replied, it isn't illegal to get pregnant in the comfort of your own home, using a donor! He agreed and left out the father part completely and has left it up to me to tell them.
This did however get me thinking... how are the nursing staff, midwives, doctors going to react and treat us once they know our situation. I know they cannot descriminate in any way or be rude, refuse care etc... but I'm wondering if we get stuck with someone who is not keen on it they may not be as nice and all that jazz, which could make the whole experience a nightmare.
So.. I'm wondering if anyone has had any good/bad experiences with hospitals being a same sex couple having a baby? We are in Adelaide and now I'm trying to decide where to even go! Thanks guys x
We went through a clinic, but honestly had no dramas. We told the Gp (who gave us a referral to the hospital) and we told the hospital that we were in a same-sex relationship, used a donor, and that was it. The rest of the details aren't really their business, it is important that you know the donors blood type (in case its negative... not really sure about the Rh neg stuff as it wasn't an issue for me) I think but thats about it.
Of course, there are going to be those who aren't professional, and if you come across them you do NOT have to put up with it. You can asked to be taken out of their care, and make a formal complaint.
I hope this is the last of your negative experiences That is terrible, and I'm sorry someone even suggested that too you. Thats disgusting really.
thats awfull and down right rude, i would have been gobsmacked!!!!
the neg blood grouping stuff leasha was talking about is important to know but more so i THINK if the mother is a neg group like myself i am negative so i need a injection through the pregnancy and one after if baby si opposite blood group. This is to stop my body from thinking baby is some type of infection, or else the body will do what it's designed to do with infections. Also if you are negative you need to be careful if you have spotting to go to hospital with in a few hours if light or sooner if obviously heavy to get a injection. The mothers blood and babies blood cant mix when they are neg and positive. Hope this makes sence
i would be putting in a complaint about that dr if i were you.
That's terrible! It sounds like you're new to SA (?) I'm just wondering if a woman-centred health service like Women's Health Statewide that might be able to provide you with some starting points for a) finding a good hospital, but also in the longer term finding a lesbian-aware GP that you can attend on a regular basis. I know they have a feminist framework and both of their Southern and Northern Women's Health services provide support for same-sex attracted women, so they might have some useful info for you. Good luck!!!
Thats disgusting. Im not in a same sex relationship but the hospital thinks I am cz my best friend Hollie has come to my ultrasounds and shes always called my wife lol. We stopped correcting them. I hope you get better treatment next time darl.
Are you looking at going through public, or private hospital?
As far as my experiences with medical services I have had no trouble because Jay is always with me whenever we go to the doctor/hospital/health clinic, and I clearly introduce her as my partner.
In the last 12 months I have been to the doctor/hospital/health clinic probably 100 times for tests, procedures, and appointments, and have not struck anyone who has even hinted that they might not be comfortable with my relationship. I have been trained to read body language of people for my work, and have not even detected any issue.
It may have been the first time your GP has had any association with a lesbian pregnancy that has been conceived at home privately, so they didn't handle it well, but trust me, they will likely have reflected on it, and use it as a learning experience of what not to do next time.
The GP that we saw for referrals to Flinders IVF had never had anything to do with lesbian conception before, and was kind of nervous about it, but we gave him the opportunity to ask us questions about it, so that he could learn for the next time he had girl/girls come in and ask for help in getting pregnant, and he really appreciated it.
Maybe contact PINK PARENTS and see if they have any suggestions/recommendations for you both. i know they have a list of same sex friendly obstetricians on their website, which might help influence your decision on which hospital to go to
Good/bad experiences with hospital staff due to being in same sex relationship
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That is terrible, and I'm sorry someone even suggested that too you. Thats disgusting really.
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