I tend to agree with much of what's been said already in this thread. The fact that he is older or gay doesn't bother me... but your age does. Please understand that developmentally your brain, specifically your "risk assessment" frontal lobe won't be fully developed until you are about 25. Try to accept this limitation you have... I don't mean to be patronising. What you might not be able to factor into the equation is how a decision to have this man's child will affect your future relationships. You have a long life ahead of you. I wouldn't rush into anything. If this is meant to happen... it would be worth the wait. In the meantime I think, as a demonstration of commitment to each other in terms of being potential co-parents I think something tangible you could both do is work on gaining a bit more financial security for yourselves and the child if that's what you both deeply desire. If you can't channel your collective energies into that then I would question the wisdom of pursuing something as permanent as parenthood.