Most traumatic experience of my life

**Lindley** · March 21st, 2010, 04:36 AM

My ovulation was late this month. Nice donor who lives a long way away had to go overseas just after my fertile period was supposed to have hit, and in the meantime, one of our defaulting donors came back. We met up with him, he seemed nice and okay with us moving back to Australia with baby, we agreed to go ahead...

I had two not-quite readings on my LH surge strips, then a sudden jump in temperature, and was sure I'd missed it. Cue lots of crying about how I'm too stupid to get pregnant. Two days after - positive! I swear I used more than twenty test strips this month. I now have far too intimate a relationship with my own urine.

One-defaulting donor came over on the second day of my LH surge. The house, as usual, looked like a bomb had hit it, so I used up a day of annual leave to tidy and clean all day.

Aaaargh aargh aargh most embarrassing situation ever! We had pizza and chatting and then, oh hell, it never occurred to us that we were supposed to provide porn. We're lesbian feminists, we don't exactly have copies of "Barely legal teens do it doggy-style" lying around! Cue awkwardest conversation ever... He went upstairs to try,and came down eventually saying it wasn't working. He borrowed the computer and printed out something, I don't want to know what, while we sat around and played Scribblenauts on the DS. Eventually he came down, quick kiss on the cheek goodbye, and we popped up to inseminate.

I couldn't look at it. I could keep it warm in my armpit, but I couldn't look at it. My darling wife was very brave to do the syringey bit. I was so traumatised that we lay in bed singing Gilbert & Sullivan until the cat ran up and bit my hand. She hates me singing, she's such a critic.

And now... I guess we wait. While I angst about every minor change in my body to see if it means implantation.

Couldn't bear to wash out the syringe and cup, they went in the outside bin, so I guess we will have to buy new ones every month until I conceive...

It only just occurred to me that I have just lost my precious reason never to have to undergo pap smears. *cries*

With all that - we're so glad to have found a nice donor, and to be finally moving ahead.

But I hope he brings his own porn next time.