Hi I'm new...and starting TTC tomoro using home insemination

**Scruffles** · June 29th, 2009, 04:41 AM

Hi, I've only just found this site. Me and my girlfriend have recently found a donor (after being registered on a co-parent site for the past 2 years), and are hoping to start home insemination tomro for the first time. It's more of a 'practice run', as I already ovulated on the 19th/20th, but we figured it's better to have a try and get all the awkwardness/embarrassment out of the way before I'm actually ovulating and we get so nervous that we mess it up! We'll be starting properly next month.

He's coming to our house tomro to 'do the deed' a few times, but I was wondering how everyone else found it the first time, how you got over the initial 'omg there's sperm inside me' etc! We've been emailing him quite alot, and met up a few times. He's going to sign over his parental rights, tho he will have email contact and see him/her at Xmas, birthdays etc.

Does anyone have any tips on what not to do etc? I've read every book I can find, but it's different actually talking to other people about it. We havn't told any of our friends, only my sister (who is currently pregnant and has an 18 month old, so I figured she's the best person to talk to) and my gf's mum, who can't wait for her grandchild, lol. Is it better to tell more people to have more support, or keep it to ourselves until we at least pass the 12 week mark (if it works!)?

Thanks!!

**Cupcake** · June 29th, 2009, 09:17 AM

Sorry i have no advice but just wanted to welcome you to BB!! Goodluck!!

**Scruffles** · June 30th, 2009, 03:02 AM

Thanks

**Marlene** · June 30th, 2009, 08:05 AM

Sorry I don't have any advice for your situation...just wanted to wish you the best of luck!!

**Scruffles** · June 30th, 2009, 09:43 PM

Well the deed is done, so fingers crossed! Even tho I've already ovulated,lol.

**Nurse27** · July 1st, 2009, 12:15 AM

hey scruffles,

My partner and I tried home insemination for 12 months with no success. Jay was intending to be the tummy mum, and our donor made a point of trying to include me by giving me the donation jar - which to be honest grossed me out beyond all belief. I could not get over the whole sperm thing. All we did was lay there together and remember that we were doing such a fantastic thing together, and the sperm 'issue' kind of faded away - until the next time lol

Unfortunately we didn't have success, and we have moved onto IVF, but due to laws in South Oz, I am going to be the tummy mum.

Just remember that if at anytime you change your opinion on your donor, get out of the arrangement and quickly. We have had donor who we thought was great but as time went on changed and became kind of creepy.

We hope that you have had a good practice run today and that things will go greatly when you have your real run!

**Scruffles** · July 3rd, 2009, 02:58 AM

I hope the IVF goes well for you! Our donor came up on Monday and we chatted for a few hours, then he went into the bathroom while we took the dog out into the garden to play, cus my gf totally freaked out at the thought of what he was doing in the bathroom (to the point where she made me bleach the entire place before she would even go to use it! she thought a rogue 'swimmer' would be sitting somewhere and make her pregnant, she's so odd,lol). I thought Id be ok with the whole sperm thing, my sister is pregnant again, so I've been chatting to her quite alot about things, but when it came down to actually getting it into the syringe, I was actually physically heaving, then freaked out when she tried to put it near me

But after I calmed down abit, we just got started, it was so weird that he was in the other room (we live in a bungalow, so the bedroom is beside the living room) so next time I think we'll send him out to walk the dog or something!

I feel far better about it now we had a practice run, tho now because my gf read online I cud still have gotten pregnant even tho Ive already ovulated (I duno where she gets this stuff(, everytime I have so much as a heachache she freaks out! lol. I cudn't be that lucky for it to happen on the practice run!!!

**Indadhanu** · July 3rd, 2009, 06:06 AM

Hi scruffles,

Hehehehe yeah the first time we did the IUI (we went through a clinic) was a bit weird, though not too weird cos the sample in the test tube looked pink sp I could totally detach LOL
Just try to forget where they came from and think about where they are going. Not "OMG eeeeww!" but "OMG wow, this could be our baby!".

Shel wouldnt come near me for a few days after (since they can live for up to 5 days

). Not so much the sperm issue, more that she was 100% sure she didnt want to be pregnant! LOL it was funny.

Good luck!!

**monkeygem** · July 3rd, 2009, 10:56 AM

Hey Scruffles

Just a quick note to wish you all the best AND to let you know you are a braver woman than i.

I don't think i would be able to face the 'fresh stuff' myself and am secretly pleased that we took the ivf route (age and medical reasons mostly) though our gorgeous donor was quite offended that his semen had to be 'washed' and it took a jugful of ****tails, a 3 course dinner and a few bottles of red to convince him that this was 'standard' procedure NOT something we (the hygiene police lesbos) had requested! Ha!

So, we are wishing you well with your family plans and as our pregnancy test is a week away we shall continue to check the boards for your progress.

All the best,
Monkeygem

**Scruffles** · July 3rd, 2009, 10:59 PM

Hey Scruffles

Just a quick note to wish you all the best AND to let you know you are a braver woman than i.

I don't think i would be able to face the 'fresh stuff' myself and am secretly pleased that we took the ivf route (age and medical reasons mostly) though our gorgeous donor was quite offended that his semen had to be 'washed' and it took a jugful of ****tails, a 3 course dinner and a few bottles of red to convince him that this was 'standard' procedure NOT something we (the hygiene police lesbos) had requested! Ha!

So, we are wishing you well with your family plans and as our pregnancy test is a week away we shall continue to check the boards for your progress.

All the best,
Monkeygem

LOL!!! Bless him! It is stressful, and Id rather I didn't have to see it/touch it etc, but if it gets us our baby, Id drink the stuff! (ok, I wudnt go that far,lol). Good luck testing next week, we'll keep our fingers crossed for you both!!!

**Nurse27** · July 4th, 2009, 10:38 PM

if it gets us our baby, Id drink the stuff! (ok, I wudnt go that far,lol).

That is gross, but I can totally relate to the desire for a baby

**babywannabe** · July 5th, 2009, 01:30 AM

Hi, Just wanted to wish you luck on your TTC jouney.
As for whether to tell ppl b4 the 12wk mark is a matter of personal choice. I m/c at 6 weeks and was glad i had only told my family. I'm a private person so was glad i didn't have to go telling anyone other than my family I had m/c.

**Scruffles** · September 26th, 2009, 11:51 AM

Thanks girls! Just to update, 4 months and still no BFP, better keep at it!

**Beth-n-Sara** · September 26th, 2009, 05:37 PM

Sorry to hear its taking awile

I'm sure you'll get your BFP soon

Keep us updated, how is it all going?

**Indigograce** · November 10th, 2009, 01:53 AM

Scruffles

Hope you and your partner have had some luck now. My partner and I did home insemination and I was surprised at how grossed out I was about the sperm! I'd forgotten what it smelt like (as a hetro in a former life it never bothered me before!). I remember feeling sick from it the first time attempt, both of us were nearly gagging at it and felt like we couldnt get rid of the smell. Funny now I look back on it

The second time we lit lots of scented candles to disguise it - much better.

After reading posts on these sites I realise how lucky we were to concieve after 2 attempts. Our donor was quite pleased with himself! I really feel for people having to go through it so many times - it is a heartbreakingly long time inbetween ovulations.

On a freaky note, our little home attempt has resulted in a twin pregancy, so everyone assumes we used IVF! Although it was a shock at first we are pretty happy to be getting 2 babies out of all that effort, even if it does mean we will soon have 4 kids!

Good luck x

furge · December 11th, 2009, 05:24 PM

Wow this was the funniest post I have read so far. I am so glad to hear the reaction of the sperm because I was thinking I was going to be the only one. Ok so I read something about a co-parenting waiting list. What is this? I live in US and was wondering if it was something different here. I am quite interested in how I've read other posts and being successful with being able to DTD without feeling so awkward. I just imagine elevator music playing in the bathroom first for the donor and then the pass-off...How did you get passed all of this? I had found a donor that was willing to donate but I just couldn't imagine this part go down. I guess I would really have to be completely comfortable with the idea before getting to this point. Very interesting though. Any advice on how to get over this hump (NPI) would be greatly appreciated. And Indigograce I'm extremely jealous and want to congrats on the twins. My partner of 13 years and I are both identical twins.

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