one other tip: have a family meeting before the disease becomes too advanced to agree on how certain things will be handled ...
eg: when will you not let your children drive with them? when will you remove their car keys or get rid of their car? when will you not allow them to have keys to your home? if they forget that someone (eg: their spouse) has died, will you tell them, or just say they are away or can't visit that day? if they stop liking healthy foods, will you just let them eat custard and jelly all day, or will they be fed by others? under what (if any) circumstances will they be put in full time care? who will manage their affairs?
if the person with Alzheimers has several immediate family members, questions like this can cause enormous disputes ... it was reasonably simple for us, as it was my maternal grandmother and my mother is an only child - we let her make all the decisions, and we just supported her ... but I'm one of 4 kids, and I would want to discuss things - many of them with the person present, if they were able and willing to participate - if it looked like things might be heading that way ...
as a nurse I strongly agree with what the others have suggested about having a family discussion early that includes the person who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, about their wishes, how things might be handled and to arrange legal power of attorney and medical power of attorney while the person is able to make these decisions. Families can be torn apart on how a person with alzheimers should be cared for, it is even more difficult if some family members live far away as they may struggle to fully understand a situation that they are not seeing for themselves. This can lead to decisions being delayed and the ill person not getting the care they need while legal issues are addressed as well as putting a large burden of stress on everyone in the family at the same time you are grieving for having 'lost' the person you knew
I hope you and your family can be there for each other as well as for your Ill family memember
Once a person has a diagnosis of alzheimers, you are unable to apply to get legal power of attorney. You can however apply for a guardianship order through SATS. I have worked in aged care for 14 years as a registered nurse. One of my main jobs was to interview residents and their families prior to entry. My one and only suggestions to you and your family, is to make sure you do not leave it too late to start looking for care options. Waiting lists in care facilities are long, especially for males. You could be waiting anywhere up to a year for a suitable bed and unfortunately that means people hit a crisis situation and the person ends up bouncing around the public health system. You can apply for waitlisting once the person has recieved an ACAT assessment, they will either get approval for high or low care. Although the prognosis for people with Alzheimers is roughly 7 years it can be effected by numerous other things.
My auntie was diagnosed with it at the age of 45, she passed away 9 years later.
There is medication (aricept)that can be taken to help slow the process however the person would need to be assessed by a gerontologist as the medication needs approval before it is dispensed. The medication does only work for a short period of time.
All the best with it all, I am sorry to hear you are going through this.
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