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Thread: Any other mums with ADHD / ADD ? How do you manage?

  1. #1

    Default Any other mums with ADHD / ADD ? How do you manage?

    I'm just wondering if there are any other ADHD mums out there. I have just been diagnoed with inattentive type (what used to be called ADD but is now called ADHD-I, which makes no sense as there is no hyperactivity involved, but anyhoo). It explains why I find mothering and relationships in general so challenging. Explains my whole life really; why I flit from job to job, why I can't seem to get on top of simple tasks like grocery shopping and cooking, why I find playgroups so overwhelming, why I zone out in busy situations, why I can't sit through a movie, why I forget to call friends... the list goes on.

    So far I've found that it is very misunderstood. Especially the type that I have (inattentive). I'm hoping to find other mums to chat to who understand the condition and chat about how it can be managed, parenting challenges, and how to work around it to give your children the structure and attention they need without going nuts yourself!

    PS - I would also like to raise some awareness. I was diagnosed with depression long ago and have seen many professionals and tried many antidepressants, none of which helped me get better. No one picked up that I had ADHD/ADD. Now that I understand the condition I can see that having ADHD and all the associated problems - chronic difficulty following through with anything, getting organised, planning and completing tasks, etc, which has lead to a string of failed courses, jobs, friendships and relationships - is what has caused my bouts of depression. ADHD presents very differently with women and it is often not until motherhood which requires attention, follow through, consistency etc that women find out they have the condition. The paradoxial part of ADHD is the ability to 'hyperfocus' on interesting/stimulating activities and activities that don't require you to use your 'working memory' (short term memory) as a coping mechanism. TV, computer and internet use are common activities that people with ADHD hyperfocus on. So given that this is an Internet forum I thought that I would probably find quite a few other mums here who have ADHD, either diagnosed or undiagnosed.



    PPS - ADHD is highly genetic. I was reading last night that 30% of children with ADHD have one parent with the condition. If your child has been diagnosed and the above sounds familiar, you may have it too.
    Last edited by skeetaboat; August 28th, 2010 at 09:33 AM.

  2. #2

    Join Date
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    Hi Skeeta - just letting you know you're not alone on here with ADD. I was diagnosed last year and after the inital shock and worry that my brain doens't work etc, I've found it makes a lot of sense. I've let myself off having to be "organised" and we've found ways to work around it. It would have been useful to find this out in high school - it may have helped me with my study dramas. I still managed to get multiple degrees, but only through sheer bloody mindedness sometimes, with lots of things handed it past due dates. btw - I'm also rubbish at remembering to call people back. It's pretty embarassing. I'm afraid I've had to start leaning on "to do" lists. But the hyperfocus is another thing all together - I can spend hours researching and analysing one thing until I do my own head in.

    Unfortunately I can't share parenting details with you (our bub died), so can't help there. But you are not alone out there

  3. #3

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    Hi Tash. Thanks for replying.

    I feel exactly the same way with regards to diagnosis. Everything in my life makes so much more sense now and I wish I had found out a long time ago. I would have saved a bunch in HECS fees for all my unfinished courses to start with! I did eventually finish a masters too but like you it took determination. Luckily I'm stubborn! I can sometimes use hyperfocus to my advantage workwise but I often lose interest in a job/topic once I've mastered it... and then want to move onto the next challenge.

    I see you're in Melbourne. Me too. Do you see a good specialist? Do you take meds and do you find they help? I am just about to start on meds. Hopefully they help me. My biggest problem is being attentive in my relationships and something I'm really hoping that the meds will help with. I can cope with the rest of the disarray in life!

    I'm sorry to learn that Leo was with you only briefly. How are you coping? Have you got a lot of support atm?

    It's nice to connect with you

  4. #4

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    There is so much of the unknown in relation to Adult ADHD/ADD but it is certainly 'out there' and can cause so much interruption to adults who often have a difficult time being accessed often due to insufficient knowledge on suffers who are no longer children.

    As a diagnosed adult ADHDer I found the results to the extensive (an expensive!!) psychological assessment the answer to a long life of suffering..AND without medication.
    I too suffered depression years ago but recall problems in school, mainly by the time I reached secondary school (which is also a little different) - the changing of rooms and different teachers for different lessons.

    It also causes difficulty concentrating on exams and in work places establishing new skills. Personal relationships are often affected too I agree with that comment also.
    Since commencing on medication my entire life is changing enormously. The concentration factor is amazing and I can fit much more in to my life now. Children? I can now even out run them

    Have THE best doctor in Victoria too

  5. #5

    Join Date
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    What was the process like to get your diagnosis? I'm at my wits end with my xp (actually I feel alot of sympathy for him, it's very distressing), and he wants to do something but unless I organise it for him it just won't happen.

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