Emotional Eating - Where Does It Start ???

[tanyaya]

my question is: "when does it stop????"

i absolutely think that it starts early - i did look at this (my overeating) as part of a self-development course and came to the conclusion that it came about after my brother was born and i didn't get the same attention i was used to, so eating was a comfort/way of getting attention.

it's not often that i'm not shovelling something into my mouth..... be it a healthy snack or a cup of tea or whatever.....

[MummaSue]

It's not really about the food though, it's about the emotions behind it so it could start at any time. If you teach your kids that they get food when they are upset then they may continue that cycle throughout their lives. Same with rewarding kids with food, another big no-no.

Food is fuel. Nothing else.

Some people turn to addictions and other things to feed those emotions too though.

[BellyBelly]

Agree with MummaSue. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex and others turn to food. Different drug of choice, but all an emotional problem that needs to be addressed underlying that.

[MrsFabuloso]

I think it can definately start in childhood. And I think if it does it's a much more difficult habbit to break because it's so ingrained. The problem with choosing food as your 'drug' of choice is that it's the only 'drug' we have to have. We can't live without food, but we can live without, say, alcohol. So someone can kick the habbit of alcohol cold turkey and not have any near them, but with food we have to eat to live so that's why it's so much more difficult.
My addiction started when I was young and left alone alot at home when my parents worked. I used to come home to an empty house and eat to do something, keep myself busy, try to stave off the lonliness. I do it all now. I can recognise it better nwo, but it makes it no easier to stop doing it at the moment.

[BellyBelly]

Here's a clip (an hour long) on a woman called Beverley working through her emotional eating issues, I think she was abused as a child from memory. But she uses food as a way to feel better in her life, when she feels boredom or fear. Working through the psychological side is important, she lost 200lbs after this.

Beverley - Emotional Eating

[HotI]

Food is more than just fuel though. We use it as a way to socialise from early on. Doing BLS, your bub sits with you when you eat and you sit and chat to them when they are eating. If you spoon feed, you are also interacting, chatting to bub. Even earlier on, breastfeeding or bottle feeding you hold bub, catch their gaze, chat to them, rub them.

You can't get away from the social aspect to it. If you look at breastfeeding, breastmilk has natural pain relievers in it plus the comfort of a hug and the closeness- so this is a natural way where food is linked to comfort or healing. If you get sick, food can help you get better (if it provides whatever you are missing).

So, i don't think food is just a fuel and i don't want it to be just a comfort, it's working out the middle area.

[BellyBelly]

Yes, it's all about the feeling it creates When I did my detox, I had a hard time craving my cuppas and my good friend on the detox who had done it before (and permanently lost 15 kilos in 6 weeks, 10 years ago!) reminded me, it's all about the social aspect, and the feeling it creates. That is what we miss.

[HotI]

Is that a bad thing though? Isn't sitting down having a cuppa with a mate or sharing dinner with family or friends part of the good things in life?

Using ZFs example, she comforted her DD with a hug and then gave her some sprinkles to play with, probably whilst chatting to her as she was getting dinner ready. I think this is ok. It stops her injuring herself, she is being entertained and stimulated. If she just through a donut at her and said go sit down and feel better, i could see it was setting her up to seek comfort only in food but if it is combined with attendance and attention it seems ok to me.

I think if you see it only as a fuel, then you could be setting your bub up for future issues because they don't get the attention at the same time as the food, so they might 'converse' with the food instead and then take comfort from the food itself.... and then use it later to eat alone to try to get that attention ITMS

THere is emotional issues around eating in my family (like most families i suspect) and I'm trying to work out how not to give my DD hang-ups about food but not pushing her to seek comfort in it either.

[MummaSue]

So, i don't think food is just a fuel and i don't want it to be just a comfort, it's working out the middle area.

Yeah, I totally agree with this. I realise my earlier statement sounded a bit straightforward when it isn't so. What I was getting at though, is if you eat based on your emotions, your body will never be satisfied by food. If we don't eat though, we die.

It is about finding that middle ground. Eating is hugely social for us (humans I mean).