My Mum was the same and suicided at one of her very low iron stages. It's a really tough experience emotionally to go through low iron.

I would think that you and your mum (as with myself and my mum) have compromised gut flora and a leaky gut. Healing your gut on a grain free diet with a lot of healing foods- most importantly ferments- will help you. You can contact GAPS Australia for help finding someone to support you, or most good naturopaths or TCMs should be able to help.