MD's Radical Life Revision

MD- i have no internet atm, but have popped into the library to see how you were doing. Have Saskia on the boob, lulu runningt riot, so excuse my briefness! Just wanted you to know i was thinking about you all the time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ange, thank you so much for your thoughts. I'm feeling a bit more on top of the funky boob situation now, having the core biopsy on Thurs then it's a week's wait for the results (unless Dr Compassion rings me beforehand which he might because he knows I'm anxious about having to wait).

I'm just a bit shocked now that I know it's there - the lump is actually quite obscenely large...it really did just feel like a blocked milk duct while I was breastfeeding. Can't believe that I or anyone else actually missed it...?! On the other hand, now is a safe and powerful time in my life to be dealing with it so perhaps the timing is just as it should be.

You know it MD....everything happens exactly when and as it is supposed to ;)

hopefully you wont have to wait for the results for a week though!
Still sending the good stuff you way :hug:

All went well yesterday (mammograms and core biopsy on boob). They were having some probs with the mammogram machine so it took a lot longer but I met a couple of fabulous and inspiring gorgeous women who walked the breast cancer walk back in 2004 and haven't looked back since. So we had a really good chat in the waiting room in between my zillion callbacks for more photos. The less said about the needle experience the better (except that it really took an expert to be able to see the darn thing on the ultrasound) but I'm sort of relieved too cos it means I'm closer to having actual information (instead of my runaway imagination at 4.00am version of events) and also a step closer to starting treatment to WHOOP SOME NAUGHTY CELL ASS!

The hard part is going to be telling people. I was sitting there with my extended family today thinking how weird it would have been if they they all knew. I don't know if it's possible to contain that info, I suspect they will all tell each other even if I try to keep a lid on it, which would be even weirder than just having it out there. Anyway, like usual am getting ahead of my self. Only thing I really have to do right now is enjoy this gorgeous weekend with my family and take next week when it happens, right? It's ok, I'm ok, it will be ok.

glad to hear you're doing ok honey bun xoxo

Glad to hear that the boobs survived The Fridge ;) and that the biopsy went smoothly. The thing with family is, they probably will talk, but it will be out of love and concern for you and if you do need them to support you during any nasty cell ass-kicking then they will feel like a warm blanket around your shoulders :hug:

hey babe!

operation whoop-ass sounds like my kinda game! yes, i had a mis-spent couple of months as a teen with a friend that just got pay tv and we HAD to watch the wrestling....:rolleyes:

i think that you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the extended family. people tend to really gather strength and power from eachother during the hard slog and it can be really awesome having people rally around to not only support yourself, but also the others around you (so that you dont have to feel like you need to support them 24/7).
they probably will talk, in fact i would find it weird if they didnt, but again, that's us humans and our way of working things out.

xx

All the best for your results MD. Thinking of you.

**BREAKING NEWS**
Dr Compassion rang to tell me I have an appointment tomorrow with a surgeon.

From the biopsy it appears that I have either precancerous or early stage Funky Boob Syndrome, of the invasive variety, which means the doctors have to get whooping along much faster now. They will know with greater certainty what it is once they get in there.

Apparently this means I can expect to have surgery in 1-2 weeks, with a 4-6 week wait after that before commencing chemotherapy and then radiotherapy (if needed) last. This means I might be trekking around next week breaking news to people who are going to cry when they find out. :(

There is a chance it may not be properly Funky (ie the precancerous scenario) - or maybe my infinitely clever body will heal it before they get the chance ;) - but regardless I will still be having chemo because of the whole lymphomaroma thaing.

Either way, anyone with a birthday this year is getting a Jane McGrath rose. :p The rest of you can start eating pink finger buns NOW!!!

Pink Ribbons everywhere hun, I have even joined the FB breast cancer cause!! Lets hope they have caught it early enough to get rid of funky boob completely without a mastectomy :hug:

MD, sending you my very best pre-cancerous vibes and wishing you all the best with the surgeon tomorrow.

You and your lovely family are never far from my thoughts.

:hug:

Pink ribbons all the way. And I add my pre-cancerous vibes too the mix. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. :hog:

Well that's crap and good news rolled into one MD. Wish i had words of wisdom, but got nothin' today. Hope it goes well tomorrow and it is the best news possible.
Telling people will be hard, but the support will be good i guess.
Massive squishy hug for you love. :hug:
Wish i could do more.....

hmmm well at least the 'action'that needs to happen willhappen sooner rather than later. i will be on the hunt forpink finger buns and those pink cupcakes now - what an excuse! the things i do for you....
i hope telling ppl is ok - you will get loads of support but i know it is hard to see people cry...
imagine the joy they will feel when you come through all of this
i wish i could say or do more.i am thinking of you. xxx

Funny thing is I actually feel quite calm about it. I expected to be beside myself, but I think I've already processed a lot of the emotion over the last week. I stupidly asked the radiologist last week if she thought it looked like a lymphomaroma or a funky disco boobie and she said funky boobie whereupon I came home and had a five-day meltdown, culminating in realising yesterday that I really roolly might lose a boob. But a boob is a small price to pay for life in all it's gloriousness so even that is ok. Since I 'went there' in my head I've been fine.

I've done a lot of reading, know what sorts of decisions *might* lie ahead of me, now it's just a matter of walking through it until I'm through it!!

:

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i will be on the hunt forpink finger buns and those pink cupcakes now - what an excuse! the things i do for you....

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Aw shucks...LOL

Re telling people. I've thought about that quite a lot too. You're right PP, they will share the joy, and even the fact that they will be sad/angry etc is only a reflection of how much joy and love there is in those relationships in the first place. So it balances out in a big way.

If you just stay completely upbeat about it the way you have been, and put your trademark MD spin on things then I think that will soften the blow for you and for them. But when you tell H, just imagine that you can feel me holding your hand :hug: Because that will probably be the hardest one of all.

But the best thing is that it is all PRE this and PRE that, so thats gotta be good?

:grouphug:

Thinking of you MD :)
Stay strong darl

x