Flea your experience with your mum was a lot like mine. In hindsight I feel so sorry for my mum, she had no support and it wasn't really something anyone talked about. HRT was just coming into being but was still quite experimental. We all thought she was going barmy, and while she eventually calmed down somewhat, she became (to this day) more childish in her emotions and ability to cope with stress and definitely more self centered.

Bath I think i read you somewhere today where you pointed out that going through menopause will probably be different for us than our mothers as we are more open about things and demand better information and choices than our baby boomer mums. I think and I hope you are right. It really isn't something that anyone prepares you for though. At least for me. Has anyone every taken any of you through what it is like and what are some signs it may be happening (other than the obvious hot flushes) and what to expect?

I am quite a bit older than most of my close girlfriends and after going through IVF/infertility while they are all having babies seemingly easily has been hard enough in that they can't really help or relate other than being understanding and supportive as they can. I can't imagine going through menopause without someone's understanding and guidance.

Hmmm this has given me some thought as to talking more to older women about their experiences and getting their advice as early as possible. Also to make this a real issue you can talk more openly about. Infertility is such a taboo subject for many reasons and this has been distressing enough that I don't want to experience another life experience in the dark with whispered words, guilt and confusion.