Would you think differently about me if you knew...

[misty]

Just thought I would add that in my experience overweight / obese people can be just as judgemental about anothers weight as those who are skinny / healthy weights.

The number of times I have had to insert myself into a conversation I have heard clients having about other members, judging that member becuase they are deemed to be too skinny to worry about their seight or their health - it is shocking. It doesn't matter what size you are, everyone has their insecurities, and anyone who is doing something to better their health and control their weight should be applauded - not judged like that. I found one member in tears because some of the bigger people had told her she shouldn't be there because she was too skinny. She only wanted to loose 3kgs. I wish I had of been smart enough to get help when I only needed to loose 3 kgs rathe then waiting until it got to 30kgs! And another member who has had to defend her attendance to small minded people on occaision - she is a life time member, and little do people realise what she had to go through to get where she is now: she lost over 70kgs (although you would never guess it to look at her now) and has managed to maintain it for quite a few years now.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

No i don't judge a person by how much they weigh. That is not important to me it doesn't change who the person is. Afterall 'weight' is just a number!

My mum has been morbidly obese for most of my life, she is fat because she is unhappy with her life. My oldest sister had a bad side effect from a medication and ballooned from a healthy size 8 (kids size) to a 14 in only 6 weeks. She then went on to have issues with weight so she too has been obese for as long as i can remember. Then there was my little sister who was borderline annorexic at 18 years old because when she was 11 someone called her fat. She stands at 5'6 and weighed only 46kgs and then there was me who was in the middle of the two.. not too fat and not too skinny..

I have been guilty of laughing and calling a girl fat, but thats to make myself feel better and didnt like this person. I don't mean it and it really doesn't make me feel better.

I am really ashamed of my weight, i will often say no to invitations to go out because i am almost always the biggest person in a crowd..

[Mak]

No I don't judge based on weight as I have been different weights through out my life.
However I do feel very strongly about people being realistic about the personal responsibility they have for their actions - in all areas too btw. So by that I mean people being honest as to how their behaviour has influenced their situation. Not just weight wise, but health, financial position etc.

[meow]

When developing a 'first impression' of someone then yes, I would say I do take their weight into account. These days though I find I'm so busy and distracted with the kids that I barely get a chance to look at them when first speaking to someone!

I don't instantly think fat=depressed but if an obese person's posture seems in line with that then I'm probably usually more inclined to make a judgement about their mental state than I would a skinny person. Conversely, if a skinny person has really straight possture and is highly groomed I'll probably judge them as possibly uptight and irritating. These are just first impressions though, which I think are very natural and necessary for humans to do.

[*Ang*]

I might get a bit judgmental if someone I know or meet who is overweight complains about it and doesn't actually do anything material to address their own complaints, or does things to perpetuate their own unhappiness! But not in a way that I don't want to know them, just in the way where I think "You CAN do something about this and choose not to, so shuddup till you wanna do something about it".
Meanwhile, I guess I have friends of all shapes and sizes and I probably surprise myself with how that doesn't matter to me,

Exactly how I feel! I have a very obese friend who is slowly but surely losing weight, but doesnt sit there and complain about it! She is doing something about it to improve her quality of life and I applaud her for it!

I hate people who make excuses - so that is where my judgement comes from in relation to weight issues. Don't complain that you are too fat/too skinny and yet not do anything about it!

I DO judge overwieght children, or perhaps I should say I judge their parents and think "what the hell are you doing to this poor kid". And I am not ashamed of saying that, some parents should be shot when you see the crap that goes in their kids mouths...the poor kids don't stand a chance. So yes in that instance I do judge.

[Shanti]

I'm overweight myself, and I would never judge someone on their weight because, well I'm overweight myself!!! Although in saying this, if I see a morbidly obese person at the shops who can't even fit behind their front wheel of the drivers seat, then I do feel sorry for that person, sorry for them that they have let themselves get that overweight.....

Some PP's have mentioned how they perceive overweight people to be 'shy' 'lacking confidence' etc all those sorta things, but I am the complete opposite!!! I am very confident, happy, social etc person, my only problem is I eat the WRONG foods and don't exercise!!! What can I say, I LOVE my food I eat healthy for breakfast, lunch, dinner its in between those meals I find myself being naughty LOL

I can lose weight if I want to but I have to be feeling really motivated too! Although in saying that, once bub is 8 weeks I'll be starting my new health plan

[C~Q]

Hmm yes and no...in my job I have seen skinny chicks in the front row of my classes not raising a sweat, usiing tiny weights and larger people giving it their all and lifting heavier weights than me! I don't really meet people outside of the gym so for me it's more about lazyness than their size.

However I do judge relly skinny people...I don't mean naturally thin I mean dangerously skinny (and most of the time I can tell the difference). After suffering an eating disorder for 11 years I just won't put myself in a situation where I am around people like that. I can't and won't do it. At my friends bday party a few years back there was a girl there who wouldn't have been more than 35kg...was boasting about teaching 40 classes a week and I had to leave...it's too confronting and too upsetting.

I also think that most peopel judge in one way or another. My mother is obese, is a member of a gym but goes there to drink coffee, she has had her gall bladder removed and will moan about being fat whilst eating massive chunks of cheese and saying there is no point walking if you don't have a dog :O Yes I judge her, because I want her to be around to watch my kids grow up and she probably won't be

[Phteven]

Dunno about judging but I was standing behind a guy in the bank last week who was struggling just with the effort of standing and I did kind of wonder why he would abuse his body like that. He was beyond overweight - every day must be a struggle when you are that weight

I certainly don't perceive overweight people as shy or depressed (Santa isn't shy lol).

[AnyDream]

Onyx, the problem with that kind of super obesity is that there is a tipping point where the biology of the fat takes over, changes your entire biochemistry & makes weight loss a bazillion times harder. But you never realize this until after you're there.

That's why I don't judge.

[Roryrory]

Coming from a family of obese women I don't judge overweight people on anything other than their behaviour toward others but I DO judge people who say things like "I'm happy being fat" and "Big is beautiful". No, it's not, and the only reason you are happy being fat is because you haven't yet lost toes to diabetes, or developed fungal infections because there are so many fat folds on your body.

I am coming from a perspective of health. It is not possible to be obese and not be harming your body at the same time. My mum, who recently lost over 50kg with lap and surgery. has remarkably improved her health and mobility as a result.

So to make the distinction again - I don't have anything against fat people, but I don't like fat activists one bit. As my mum said, notice how there aren't any fat activists in their 60s or 70s? They're all dead or in nursing homes....

ETA when I say fat is not beautiful I am not buying into modern images of perfection, rather I am stating that to me, excess weight is about as "beautiful" as smoking or suntans....

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I don't instant judge. I will get to know someone first. I know a few larger people that I don't talk food to as there's no reason to. I know some larger people who whinge then have third helpings and 2 puddings at every meal. I admit to judging that type of person - just eat less, it ain't hard! Whinging about weight while eating a 500g bar of chocolate and asking me for a lift to town... I will say something.

Whinging about weight while asking me to be a running buddy, on the other hand, nothing but support and compassion when you want to talk weight. Or if you don't. It's not something I choose to talk about a lot.

[AnyDream]

Rory, so according to your "it's not possible to be fat and healthy" theory, where exactly does the fat-based unhealthiness kick in? Because the bmi has repeatedly been shown to be an flawed indicator of the relationship between individual weight and health.

[Danielle_NZ]

Sorry for my ramble, got a bit OT - i try not to judge people by their weight but i think no matter what we all do it, even if we don't admit to it there is that little voice in our head that for just a second says "oh she's tiny or wow she's big".

I tend to think "Am I that big or bigger?

[RainbowBrite]

No I would not.
I do not judge people on their weight.
My mum is obese and I have seen her try every diet possible and have LAP banding and none of it has worked.
But she is vibrant and bright and happy and that is what matters.
Yes she has some health concerns and she knows she should lose some weight but in no way does it alter the way I feel about her.
I on the other hand am scrawny and have been on the receiving end of some very hurtful comments on my weight.
I have trouble keeping it on and any time of stress I immediately lose weight...I am about 49kg at 5'5".
I have been dismissed by woman who would not have anything to do with me because of my size...it hurts.
So I do not judge people at all on there weight and I do expect the same in return.
Big or small we are all people and it truly is what is in our heart that matter...cliché as it sounds.
You may miss out on an awesome friendship by dismissing someone just on weight alone.

[Nai]

My friends come in all shapes, sizes and colours and I don't think I treat any of them differently. I understand many of the struggles that they deal with on a daily basis and the reasons behind them and the strength it takes to get through things. No matter if they are larger or smaller I know that everyone has different things going on - I'm not perfect and have my own issues too so who am I to judge?

[Phteven]

Because the bmi has repeatedly been shown to be an flawed indicator of the relationship between individual weight and health.

BMI not a perfect indicator of health but for most of the population if you are in the obese range of BMI you are likely to be unhealthy. Yes, there are healthy people who have a high BMI and people with very lots of muscles can have high BMIs despite being superfit but they are the exception not the rule.

[luna moth]

Like Flying Butter, I don't instantly judge, but I do judge. As so many others have said, when there's someone who is overweight or obese and doing nothing about it, I can help but be a bit irritated by their choice not to look after themselves. But I have some wonderful close friends, one in particular, who works her bum off, and eats brilliantly, but she just can't shift it all. I know, in her case, that she's actually as healthy as she can be, and I value that. So I judge, but it's never as simple a judgement as "You're fat therefore you suck" In fact, it's not the person, or their size, that I judge, but their choices. And that goes for loads of factors, not just weight.

[~Lashes~]

no i would not think difrently about you if i knew your weight.
i do judge a little of the people i see in the street, i do my best not to as it annoys me when im out with mum, she has to comment on everyone. ther to thin, to big, there bum is out of poportion to there belly, he has man boobs, blah blah. i ignore her but she dosent say them quietly or wait for the person to be out of ear-shot. i feel myself trying to go very small to disapear when she has the days of picking out things about strangers. (she dosent stop with size, clothes make up nose shape, nothing is safe )
it dosent stop with people on the street either. i remember as a child being taken to a dietician about my weight, and having to stand infront of the mirror in my knickers and count my ribs, it was ment to make me see myself as unhealthy so i would eat all the food on my plate at dinner. instead i now always see myself as to skiny and having bones stick out every were. i know im not "that" thin. i get unnaturaly excited when i cant do pants up, or like when i was preg with dd1, split the bum of my fave pants! (yes i was impressed with myself, it ment i had actualy put someweight on!)
because of my own deamons, i do my best not to judge others, and recently went off at a friend who thought it ok to nick-name dd1 fatty, it was ment with the best intentions, but i would love for my kids to not develop body issues.