I was pretty shocked at the passive aggressive behaviour from this child. I didn't think they could bully either. I assume there's some bad modelling going on at home but that's not my problem.
As for teaching DS the skills, obviously I will as much as I can but there's a limit to what a 3 year old should even have to deal with.
And my criticism of the teachers is mainly that they say "oh we're perfect you're overreacting go away" not that I think they are per se bad at their jobs. I can imagine this happens even with fantastic teachers but they need to face up and deal imho by separating the kids for a while to give my DS time to get a bit more mature and recover basically. I think if it was intermittent he would probably be fine but it seems to be every day.
Re-reading my post, I may have been a bit strong in my wording . Probably the reason I am so against the bullying is my (just) 3 year old was a target at his daycare a month or so ago. It went on for a while as I assumed it was just a boy not knowing how to control his frustration as he is bigger than Cooper but not as articulate. I thought he was about 8 months younger than Cooper just very tall but it turns out he is a couple of weeks younger than my son. This boy was scratching him, mainly on his face (Cooper has a scar on his cheek which is fading slowly) and biting with a lot of force, leaving perfect circles with individual bruises where the teeth were. I am amazed he never broke the skin because it looked like he tried hard enough. This is more aggressive that what you described but after the fourth incident in a fortnight I had enough.
However, in my case, the carers were fantastic. They took my concerns onboard, spoke to the childs mother (who is a single mum of 3 boys, one who is intellectually disabled) and separated the boys. It is not obvious that they are not allowed to play together but they are encouraged to participate in different activities with different carers so they do not interact more than is necessary. The carers also reinforced the "hands to ourselves" policy when playing every day and spoke every day at 'mat time' that you need to play gentle and nicely otherwise children will not want to play with you.
They carers have spoken to this boys mother about getting him assessed by a Dr as he seems 'slow' compared to the other children his age but he could just be developing a bit slower. The mother was a little upset but agreed that this is the best course as his older brother has a disability. She also apologised to me which was lovely of her.
This has turned into a story all about me. Sorry!
What I am driving at it if you feel that you need to do something, then do it. You are protecting your child. It could be the other child doesn't know better and is modelling behaviour from home. However, he needs to learn somewhere that it is not appropriate and at this age, is perfectly capable of learning this. Daycare should be a safe and enjoyable place for all!
I think that because you cannot "not" use the child care your son is in, you have every right - and in fact, MUST- demand more of them in protecting your child.
"Bullying" is a loaded label these days and maybe they are reacting to the idea that a child could be accused of "targeting" another child so young etc. Bullying or not...what you are saying is that YOUR child is showing signs of behavioural change and emotional distress from whatever is going on with the other boy at CC. It is their DUTY to address this and protect your son.
It's not sounding like overt hitting etc so maybe they need help with what to do about it. You can request that when the boys are together, so is an adult...you can request that they are encouraged to be apart wherever possible. You could potentially find a helpful worker (if there is one!) and talk with her/him and your son, so your son knows someone else there knwos and maybe he can trust them too.
There has to be ways to protect your DS - geesh, sometimes I think workers like in this story just get defensive that maybe their professionalism is being challenged. It's not about that but it is their job to take your son's concerns seriously and start looking after him!
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. Probably the reason I am so against the bullying is my (just) 3 year old was a target at his daycare a month or so ago. It went on for a while as I assumed it was just a boy not knowing how to control his frustration as he is bigger than Cooper but not as articulate. I thought he was about 8 months younger than Cooper just very tall but it turns out he is a couple of weeks younger than my son. This boy was scratching him, mainly on his face (Cooper has a scar on his cheek which is fading slowly) and biting with a lot of force, leaving perfect circles with individual bruises where the teeth were. I am amazed he never broke the skin because it looked like he tried hard enough. This is more aggressive that what you described but after the fourth incident in a fortnight I had enough.
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