Thanks for your reply Dusty ( has taken me a while to get back on a computer)

Well, things are great now ( 20 weeks), she has definately become much happier, so have I- I think I was partly the problem, freaking out about her naps and making it worse.
I am much more relaxed, her day naps are great, I realised she didn't really want to feed to sleep anymore, so we have changed to top up feed, then rocking to sleep which works easliy, and she can get a long sleep in once a day ( 2 hours sometimes)- it is still on my chest but that is fine, if that is what it takes I am happy, I just set myself up with a book or the tv. I tried putting her in the cot once when she was in a deep sleep but it was a disaster , then it took me 1/2 an hour to get her back to sleep so I won't do that again for a while.

I think I had lost confidence in being able to get her to sleep without feeding, but now i feel like i have got it in hand again. Also we had a big wedding ot attend last Monday, which I as dreading and stressed about, but it turned out to be great, DD was a hit, so happy up partying til 9pm, then slept great that night.

Nights are ok too, have implemented a new nighttime routine involving music, and its going ok. She is still feeding either 3-4 hrly on a good night or 1.5-2 hourly on a bad night, but thats fine.We had an issue with low weight gains too but I think I have that in hand now, part of the problem was her distractability plus my stress about getting her to nap and I think i let her snack a lot instead of feeding properly.

Am going to check if my ABA local library has a copy of wonder week book, otherwise normal library might do.

Thanks again for your advice, hope your DS is going well, I am in love with my DD, she is such a little honey